Hello again Strictly Superfans. Another week closer to the final, another week closer to Christmas. And another week closer to the end of 2020, the less said about which the better if we're being honest with each other. I can't be the only one hoping I'll wake up soon and see Bobby Ewing in the shower and I can declare it was all just 'the strangest dream'. Knowing my luck though, it'll be flipping Groundhog Day.
So, it's all change again this week. Motsi is back after Anton did a sterling job of keeping her seat warm for her. Back to hollers of 'YOU GO GIRL' and 'YOU TOTALLY SMASHED THAT' even if said dancer had forgotten all their steps, had a tantrum and face-planted into Dave Arch And His Amazing Orchestra (including the bassist who looks like Phill Jupitus). Some things you don't miss until they're gone, some things you don't realise are irritating until they return. Like haemorrhoids. Not that I don't like Motsi as a person and accomplished, knowledgeable dancer. She's just a bit shouty for me.
Speaking of which, the updated Lockdown rules means that Bruno will NOT be back for the final. No idea yet whether there'll be virtual judging - Telly Tonioli if you like, or if they're going to stick to the same thing they've been doing so far. Which would make more sense. And be the year Nobody Scored 40. Unless they give Shirl two paddles to use when she's finished perving enthusing over the male celebs.
I also hear a rumour that, because of the foreshortened series, they've ditched the rumba this year. Which is a bit of a relief because, while I accept it's a difficult dance, to me it's just 'walk, wiggle, pout, walk, wiggle, wiggle pout'. As HOTH will attest, I don't have a romantic cell in my body and can be pretty much bought off with a bottle of gin and a dark chocolate Bounty.
And so to the dancing. Next week is the Quarter Finals AND Musicals week so there was quite the incentive to do well and get the scores that might keep Maisie the couples out of the dance off. No pro opening number this week so we kicked straight off with Tess & Claudia doing the intros. Now, it might have been me, but Tess really looked like The Big Purple chocolate off of out of Quality Street.
She also blended in with the studio colour scheme which was a bit disconcerting. Anyway, the judges were introduced, Motsi was welcomed back - fully bewigged and frocked up (I said frocked) and we were good to go.
Clara & Aljaz kicked us off with a Jive to River Deep, Mountain High by Tina Turner. It started so well with Clara channelling Tina Turner at her fiercest and sassiest. The she started dancing. I think it's fair to say it was a disarster dahling, as Craig would say. Poor Clara went off on the wrong foot practically from the first beat and never truly recovered despite her best efforts. While her kicks, flicks and retraction were pretty good, she missed steps, got out of time and at one point forgot what she was supposed to be doing altogether. The poor thing looked like a rabbit in headlights as she tried her best to get back on track but it was too late. Even Craig was sympathetic in his critique and a score of 19 out of 30 wasn't bad, considering.
Jermaine Jenas - who is or was apparently a fubbler (what we call a footballer round our gaff) read the terms and conditions. I'll be honest, I had my reading specs on at the time and thought he was Gareth Gates for a minute. Well, we are not a football house so it's not my fault I have no idea who he is. Seemed nice enough though.
Jamie & Karen were up next with a Tango to Tanguera by Sexteto Mayor. There was a bit of faffing around with a chess board at the beginning, as Len would have said, but flipping heck. Who was that and what have they done with the real Baron Von Biscuits? The absolute polar opposite of his usual giddy puppy, Jamie strode out with passion, attack, determination and - dare I say it - menace. He was sharp, driven and macho throughout the routine, leading Karen with a good, tight frame and no gapping. This was a fast dance with plenty of staccato head movements and drive through the floor. Jamie never dropped character and, although he occasionally got ahead of the music, his footwork was on point and he covered the floor well. I have to admit Jamie has grown on me each week and he might just well pull off a Kelvin, after all. The gambit paid off on the knight and, though I had to check, mate, a decent 24 out of 30 was scored.
Haaaarveeeey & Jaaaaneeeetteeee brought us their Couples' Choice to Sky Full Of Stars by Coldplay. Incidentally, Son Of The House always used to cry when Coldplay came on the radio when he was a baby. And there was the very confusing dance routine when we were on a cruise once that seemed to involve gay zebras (don't ask - we've still not worked it out). It was Bring Out Yer Nan time on the VT which we could have done without. H & J came out in what looked suspiciously like Primark PJs, with the floor special effects showing a vertigo inducing high rise building - and I need no help with vertigo, trust me.
The routine started off with the usual contempowaft rolling around the floor and pointing at imaginary stuff, but quickly morphed into street commercial. Don't get me wrong, this was a cracking dance but it's nothing new to the Vowelly Challenged one. He does this kind of stuff all the time on his tours and spends weeks rehearsing it, so it was more a matter of learning the steps than a whole new way of dancing. That said, it was very, very good. A complicated mix of steps, changes of pace, lifts, tricks showed off what he could do to a T. He showed great rhythm and musicality, staying in synch with Janette all the way through. His energy was fab and he really performed. It might have been an unfortunate camera angle but he looked rather...happy at the end. He got Craig's GOAT (Greatest Of All Time, apparently, if you are Down With The Kids, which I am mos' def not) and the season's first top of the shop 30 out of 30.
Ranvir & Giovanni had to follow this with an American Smooth to I Say A Little Prayer by Aretha Franklin. Unfortunately, my spellcheck wanted to change 'Aretha' to 'urethra'. Frankly, I think it was taking the p!ss. Anyway, in a total change to last week's amazing Argentine, this was a gentle, romantic dance which allowed Ranvir to show another side of herself. A good confident solo start segued nicely into the dance proper and it looked like Ranvir was really enjoying herself. She has been improving week on week and really takes the judges' critiques on board - or at least Gio does when he's putting her through her paces. Her frame and top line were lovely and she was sleek and flowing across the floor. She handled some tricky footwork and reverse turns well and had a great connection with Gio. The lifts were a bit on the easy side - but that's better than her worrying about them and fluffing them during the dance. Her arms need a bit of refining and at one point she dropped her arm on Gio's shoulder like she was going for a Vulcan death grip. Good comments and tips for improvement from the panel earned her 24 out of 30.
Bill & Oti then brought us a Jive to One Way Or Another by Blondie. I love Bill to bits - his live shows are worth every penny, trust me (his 'U2 when there's a power cut' is simply genius) but I think his hair has definitely had its day. His hairline has now gone so far back it's more like he has a neck fringe. I suppose it keeps him warm in winter and saves his a fortune in scarves, though. I enjoyed this routine so much. Bill's kicks, flicks and retractions were sharp and smart, he was in time and in synch throughout and just went out to entertain us. He was having a lot of fun, and it showed. There were a couple of little mistakes but he recovered well to get back on it (Shirl said he 'recuperated' - I didn't even know he'd been ill). Bill went hell for Leatherboy in this dance, throwing his all into it. He got a little bit carried away and sometimes got flat-footed and stompy, but it was still a great routine and you can't fault his stamina. Craig's comments got some booing from Anton in 'the cheap seats' (I'm honestly not missing the hysterical whoopin' & hollerin' of a studio audience) and another 24 out of 30 of the night was scored.
JJ & Amy were our penultimate couple with a Viennese Waltz to Rescue by Lauren Daigle. JJ was in full Scottish traditional dress, looking every inch the proper Highlander - but, you know, with the proper accent. There was the usual VT with his wife and weans which would have brought a tear to a glass eye - it's obvious JJ is missing them so much and he's not seen them in the flesh for eight weeks. And so, with his family sporran him on (sorry), JJ took to the floor. This was a lovely, light, romantic dance full of content - including reverse turns and an attempt at a fleckl. There was a lot out of hold for a Viennese, but when he was with Amy his frame was good and there was no aberrant rise and fall. It was sweeping and graceful and he tried hard to be in character and lead Amy across the floor. Didn't quite work for me, but the judges thought he absolutely kilt it and he bag(piped) a very decent 25 out of 30.
The gaps between the good and the great are starting to show now and the dance offs are going to get more & more difficult to call, let alone judge. It's still too early to call a winner, or even a favourite and I reckon this year's final will be closer than ever.
And Sunday is the night we find out who won't be making it to the Quarter Finals. Again, it's never clear who will be in the dance off, thanks to the fickle nature of The Great British Public - who of course vote for the person the like rather than what they did on the dancefloor. I mean, how long was Ann Widdecombe kept in? You see? That.
We had a somewhat bizarre opening pro dance with Greasy Arnold (Graziano) as a pinball wizard an 80s a go go entourage in neon Day-Glo clobber chucking kitchen strip lights around. Maybe they were putting the lighting rigging up and killed two birds with one stone. Certainly one of the oddest openers I've seen, put it that way.
Tess is having fewer and fewer couples to announce and so to try to rack up the tension the pauses before the dancers are called in the safe zone are getting longer and longer. I swear I'll have time to make a brew between them before long. It must have been an utter relief for Maisie when she was called safe first. It would have been so cruel for her to have been in the bottom two again - or left till near last before she got the nod (which is probably what I would have done but I'm evil like that. Finally we got round to the first celebrity in danger who was...
JAMIE
What the chuffing Nora? Were the viewers watching the same show as me? Jamie absolutely did not deserve to be in the bottom and I can only presume people didn't vote because they thought everyone else would. See what I mean about never knowing who would be in peril? He took it very well and with his usual cheery good humour. He really is quite hard to dishearten and I like that about him. He seems like the sort of chap you'd phone after a bad day and he'd instantly raise your mood. Plus he's minted and could get the drinks in so, winner!
The Chatterpillar on the stairs was nice enough - Claudia is pretty much always fun and on form which is probably why she landed the Radio Two job to replace Graham Norton on a Saturday morning. Blimey, her weekends are going to be busy - unless she calls in Alan Mel to cover her Strictly weeks this year. I deliberately don't listen to the 'who is doing what next week' spoiler - so as to remain unbiased, of course. Well, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
The winners of this year's The Greatest Dancer - Michael and Jovita - came on to show us just why they won. I am a huge, huge fan of theirs and they got my vote every week. They performed a sensational routine with utterly breath taking choreography. Michael was twazzing Jovita around like a rag doll (that's a technical dance term, honest) and at one point she was spinning around his neck on some sort of rope for what seemed like a million revolutions. Astonishing. I'd love to see them become Strictly regulars - either in the group pro dances or as 'front row' dancer with their own celebs to teach. Imagine what they'd come up with?
The judges blah, blah, blahed again, running us through their thoughts from 'last night' and explaining some of the tricky bits. I went and got the cakes out of the fridge ready for watching His Dark Materials later. Bruno was on for all of three minutes - he probably had a Gregg's steak bake in the oven or something.
Tess returned and before we knew it, the second dancer in danger was announced as...
CLARA
This must have been disappointing for her, but she really did struggle with her dance the first time round so she was most likely expecting it. Even her army of Radio One fans wasn't enough to keep her head above the dance water this time. Lovely, positive and encouraging feedback from Craig really seemed to cheer her and Aljaz up a bit, but did it steady her nerves? We shall see.
Gary Barlow sang his new (well, normally sang with Mickey Bubbles and some other dude whose name escapes me right now) number Elita, while the pros (Greasy again, earning his keep) lolloped around the floor grinning like they wanted to be there and Gazza tried to look sexy. I've nothing against Mr B - I even like quite a few of his songs - it's just that this one will be my 3am earworm for the next few nights. Yes it's catchy. So is dysentery. I don't want that at 3am either.
So here we were again. Both couples reprised their routines and, gods love her, Clara came out and showed us what she was made of and what the dance should have looked like the first time round. She totally went for it and really showed the fight and determination to stay in the competition. It was miles better and I feel so sorry it went so badly wrong for her the first time because it was a corker of a routine.
Jamie performed as well as he did in the Saturday show - in fact, maybe even a smidgeon better. He went out to impress and stay his hardest to stay in - and stay with Karen.
Then it was crunch time. The judges expressed that this was a very, very difficult decision to make. Craig voted for Clara, Motsi plumped for Jamie. So it was all down to Shirl to issue to coup d'etat...
CLARA was eliminated from the show. Such a shame as she was clearly enjoying the experience and coming out of her shell, but she is in a strong cohort this year and someone always has to leave.
So, that was that. The Surviving Six go through to the Quarter Finals and Musicals Week. I'm already worried about what that will mean - although I'd pay good money to see a Rocky Horror Show opening dance with Jamie & Karen as Riff Raff and Magenta, Ranvir & Gio as Little Nell & Rocky, Bill as Eddie, HRVY as Dr Scott etc. Though knowing my luck they'd pitch Anton as Frank N Furter, which would totally put me off my kebab.
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