Greetings, dance fans - and welcome to another round up. Hallowe'en is behind us and we're staring down the barrel of Christmas. Seven weeks on Monday, to be precise. I've already started the cold sweats thinking about it.

To take my mind off it I've been listening to the radio and deciding Well What Dance Would I Do To That Then? And this week we have....Argentine Tango to Havana by Camila Cabello. Well, we've not had an AT yet - someone's got to crack it out. I'd love to do an Argentine Tango. I picture myself with the panache of Flavia Cacace, tearing up the floor. In reality I'd be more Florrie Cackhanded with all the grace of a heifer in heelies. Perish the thought. I'll stick to armchair Argentine, thanks all the same.

This week, for most people, it's Bonfire Night. The evening where we stand in freezing cold fields, happily set fires and burn effigies of men who were tortured to death in the Seventeenth Century. Usually while dribbling ketchup from a hot dog of dubious origin down your jumper. All good clean fun. Mind you - The Beeb missed a trick not casting actor Robert Lindsay as old Guido Fawkes in their latest production Gunpowder. I don't know about you but I think he's a dead ringer (if you pardon the expression).

 





Now, Strictly don't usually make a thing of Bonfire Night - being so soon after Hallowe'en's festivities (and they probably used up most of the budget on last week anyway). But it gives me the opportunity for a load more really painful bad puns. I spoil you lot, I really do.

So. Who was a sparkler this week and who was a damp squib? Let's gather round the fandango flames and have a look, shall we?

Alexandra Burke and Gorka opened the show with a cheeky cha cha cha to I Got The Music In Me by Marcia Hines. Now, if you believe the scandal rags press, all is not well in Camp AlGor (no, not he former US politician). Apparently, he's dating rival Gemma Atkinson and Alexandra is Not Happy and there have been Words. Are they professional enough to put the squabble behind them? Well, in a word, yes of course they are. Wait - sorry, that's five words. Alexandra got the evening going with a bang(er) with this dance. It was a technically very difficult routine full of judge-pleasing content. Alexandra took it all in her stride with fabulous legs, great hip rotation and bounce. Once again she was excellent in the side-by-side sequences and had terrific forward walks with almost perfect footwork. She was awarded an impressive 39 out of 40.

Mollie King and AJ came next with a foxtrot to Call Me Irresponsible by Connie Francis. All I'll say is that it's a good job AJ can dance. He was so wooden in the VT skit I got splinters through the telly. Blimey - I have socks with more personality (usually after a couple of days' wear). This was a nice routine, though, with some elegant lyrical lines. It was fairly polished with a romantic feel. Mollie had a slight accident when she tripped over AJ's feet but, give her her due, she recovered well and didn't let it affect her (Ruth take note). She fixed the shoulder hunching problems from last week and her overall footwork was better. AJ spun her round like a Catherine Wheel at the end, but her tootsies stayed on the floor. 27 out of 40 for Mollie.

Joe McFadden and Katya brought us a crackling Charleston to Alexander's Ragtime Band by Ella Fitzgerald. Or, as the lovely Giovanni calls it, The Charlieston. Which I think is a much better name for it, don't you? This was a hot number which, for once, I really enjoyed. Joe was dressed as a drummer boy and paradiddled all over the floor in this dance. This was practically a How To Charleston demonstration - cross, swivel, birdy flaps, flapper struts, monkey steps, hops and head wobbles. It had the lot. There were some very tricky lifts and throws, high kicks and jumps and a really showy opposition synch section that was fun to watch. A well deserved 36 out of 40 for Joe.

Gemma Atkinson and Aljâz showed off a saucy salsa to Sun Comes Up by Rudimental ft James Arthur. You were just going to say that, weren't you? This was a Hawaiin themed dance and Gemma certainly brought us a pizza the action. Sadly, it wasn't her best outing. She seemed very unsure of herself throughout the dance and the lifts were all very awkward and clunky. Poor Aljâz looked like he was manhandling a bag of spuds at some point.  The lifts were definitely playing on Gemma's mind and she was very tentative and stop / start which spoiled the flow. She had nice isolation in parts and her feet were fairly good, but there was no figure 8 hip rotation. Will she get her tiki-t through to next week? With 26 out of 40, that's not a certainty.

Aston Merrygold & Janette Manrararavioliandgarlicbread did a variation on a Viennese waltz to Who's Loving You by Jackson Five. Pocket rocket Aston was looking forward to this dance as he's a big Michael Jackson fan. He even impersonated him on Stars In Their Eyes Back In The Day (that's about  five minute ago, judging from this pic).

This was certainly not a traditional Viennese waltz. It had plenty of the expected spins and turns and Aston had a good go at a fleckerl. Once more, he was lovely and accomplished both in and out of hold but, as Darcey pointed out, he seemed to switch off when he was back in hold. He had nice free arms and decent footwork and was tight and together with Janette. He had a bit too much rise and fall for a Viennese waltz, though, and some of his movements were quite staccato and punchy which spoiled the lines. The judges hated it, savaging him with their criticism. He only scored 25 out of 40, with a lowly 4 from grumpy Craig.

Ruth Langsford and Anton trundled out a parody of a paso doble to Shady Dame From Seville by Julie Andrews. It was obvious from the costumes that this was going to be one of Anton's 'funny' routines to distract us from the fact that Ruth can't dance. Rather than a matador and señorita (yes, I've worked out how to do accents on my keyboard) they looked suspiciously like The Battersbys Do Benidorm.

 

All Anton needed was the stuffed donkey. Oh, wait, never mind, he had Ruth. I'm not entirely sure they danced any of the steps they rehearsed. It looked like Anton was making it up as he went along at times, dragging Ruth along for the ride. They certainly put the bull in bullfight with this number. Ruth was about as fierce as a field mouse as she clomped about the stage, gripping onto Anton like grim death. It was a very slow paso, very low on any actual content. At one point they just stopped and comedy gawped at the singer hitting the high notes. In fact, she was the best bit of this outing. Ruth even fell over Anton at the end, pinning him to the floor like Big Daddy taking out Kendo Nagasaki on World of Sport showing my age here. It was a crowd pleaser, but only got 22 out of 40 from the judges. Will the ardent Fantons be enough to keep her in another week? We'll have to wait and see.

Debbie McGee and Giovanni set the floor on fire with a tremendous tango to I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas. Well.I.Am impressed. Debbie and Giovanni have a terrific partnership and he's really bringing out the best in her. From the get go she was sharp, focused and passionate with bags of attack and intent. She coped really well with the changes of pace and style in a difficult routine and never lost rhythm. Her chasses were tight and on point and she showed great technique. Her footwork was tight and Giovanni even managed to throw in her signature leg raise. The panel were suitably impressed. Craig even came out from behind the desk to bow down at the couple's feet in praise. A FULL HOUSE 40 out of 40 in Week Seven - the earliest it's ever been awarded. Where can Debbie go from here?

Jonnie Peacock and Oti had to follow this with a salsa to Turn Me On by Kevin Lyttle. Now they said last week that Latin wasn't Jonnie's best skill set and he gets two Latin dances on the bounce. Hmmm - do I sense a plot? Jonnie had good rhythm and pulse in his upper body, but he couldn't translate that through to his hips which lacked rotation. He was really leaning forward at times which spoiled the frame and his free arm got a bit flingy. He gave it a good go and there were some tricky lifts which showed some skills. The armography was messy, though, and occasionally it looked like he was just stood around doing nowt while Oti did all the work. He still managed to earn 27 out of 40 though.

Susan Calman and Kevin fizzed with joyful jive to This Ole House by Shakin' Stevens. Susan was a bit heavy and flat-footed in parts of this dance but there's no denying she gave it some welly. She did well with the flicks and kicks and had decent retraction where it was needed. Kevin doesn't hold back with his choreography and there was some difficult content. This was a high energy dance and Susan did run a little bit out of steam towards the end (who wouldn't?) but the synchro steps were together and in time. She had good height in her knees, lovely timing and decent rhythm. Will she be shown the Green Door or Julie go through to next week? 29 out of 40 might be enough to see her there.

Davood Ghadami and Nadiya brought the night to an end with an awesome American Smooth to This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) by Natalie Cole. This was better from Davood. Full of Hollywood glitz and glamour, this was a fast flowing, light and airy dance which showed that he has some skills. He was light on his feet and had lovely hands in hold. There were some very nice 'Fred and Ginger' side-by-side sequences and Davood was leading his lady till the end. What a Guy. He finished with an exceptional one-handed 'bum lift' pressage that saw Natalie fly high in the sky. Not enough swing and sway for Craig, but Davood still got 35 out of 40.

And that was our box of delights. As with any firework display there were plenty of oooh and ahhhs - and some drab disappointments as well. There were some big surprises, too. Sparks might fly on the results show.

Debbie continued to impress but Aston tumbled down the leaderboard for the first time:

Debbie - 40
Alexandra - 39
Joe - 36
Davood - 35
Susan - 29
Mollie - 27
Jonnie - 27
Gemma - 26
Aston - 25
Ruth - 22

Sunday dawned bright and cold in my part of the world. Remember, remember the fifth of November as the old rhyme goes. Well one celebrity will be remembering the date for all the wrong reasons. The day they were bonfired off Strictly.

The pro dancers started the evening with a sizzling performance to a medley by Prince. There were some....interesing costume choices, especially for the blokes. Over Aljâz seemed to be in a Christmas jumper and not even Gorka could quite pull off the floral flock suit look. Still, it gotmus in the mood for what was to come.

You know the score by now. Dreary Daly drags out the decisions to pad out proceedings. Just once I'd like to see her get fed up and just say 'Oi, YOU, you're in the dance off. Deal with it, sunshine', drop the mic and stalk off for a swift half. It'd certainly liven things up, anyway.

She finally announced at the end of the first half of the evening that Aston was in the bottom two. Now this is frankly ridiculous. Aston? Last week he was second on the leaderboard with the paso that could do no wrong. Yes, he was in the bottom half this week but he was woefully, if not criminally, undermarked for his Viennese waltz and it's not his fault the choreography wasn't 'proper' enough for the judges. The poor wee mite looked crushed and the only advice that Shirley could give for improvement was to perform more. How much more Shirley?

Our musical interlude was provided by Welsh warblers Stereophonics. Kelly and Co belted out Caught By The Wind while The Spare Ginger One and Woman We've Never Seen Before frolicked around the stage. I must admit, I sometimes fast forward through this bit. A rumba looking like it's been choreographed by Benny Hill is hilarious.

The judges came up to Claud Nine to give their views on the previous night's performances, explaining why Debbie was good and Gemma was not so hot. At least Shirl kept her hands to herself this week. Maybe Claudia had had a word.

Back to the banishings. Bum-bum, bum-bum, hooray, thankyou, lights out, yada yada yada. So far, so Strictly. Tess announced the survivors until we were left with Gemma and Mollie sweating. Finally, Mollie was given the grave news. It seems she's the whipping girl with the viewer votes. Either that or people assume she will be safe and don't phone in for her. Yes, she has some ups and downs but she's better than others who are still in the game. It's not really fair on her.

Both couples reprised their routines. Both couples seemed to dance about the same as they did on Saturday night - minus the Mollie mishap and Aston attempted to lessen his rise and fall. Who would the judges decide to save? After the usual deliberation and comments about improvements and journeys the panel had came to a split decision. It was all down to Shirley. Her word was going to be final. And she decided to eliminate:

ASTON!!!

Oh. My. Goodness. THAT was not expected at all. He really must have upset Shirley and co to be binned off in such a manner. Aston is a very good dancer who works extremely hard in all of his routines and entertains the audience. Mollie is nice and all but.......well, it's not up to me is it? I'm just really disappointed that celebs who don't actually dance but do funny routines are kept in at the expense of those who do what it says on the show tin. It's Strictly Come Dancing, not Strictly Gurn While Being Dragged Around Like a Floor Cleaner While Your Pro Makes A Mockery Of It. Yes, I'm a little bitter. Hopefully normality will return next week and someone who deserves to go will go. Otherwise it's Ann Widdecombe all over again - just because Anton is (allegedly) funny. It's enough to drive me to drink. Not that it takes much these days.

Oh well, that's the way the cookie crumbles. At least he'll be on hand if his girlfriend goes into labour and he can concentrate on being a new dad soon. And I won't have to try and come up with any more plays on Janette's name. Shame though.

The judges gang up on Aston for daring to be different

And there we were for another week. We're down to single figures now and our sights are set firmly on Blackpool. The stars will certainly try and up their game to secure a place in the Home of Ballroom. But who will get there? Tune in next week and find out.

Until then, my little sherbet lemons..........KEEP DANCING!!!