And so we're back....from outer space. Well, Blackpool to be precise but now you have an earworm. I really can't do enough for you, can I? No, I mean I really can't.

So we're back in Elstree and all is right(ish) with the world. We're down to the last magnificent seven (ghost of Len...SEVERRRRRRN) and next week is the Quarter Finals! Where has the time gone? One minute I'm trying to be entertaining about fifteen people I've hardly heard of, the next we're left with fewer than half that number. It'll soon be Christmas at this rate <hides under a blanket in the corner and swigs gin>.

While I'm trying to desperately distract myself from the Festive Season I've had a think about this week's 'Why Don't Strictly Do THIS Dance, Then?'. You know how my mind works by now, but this week is slightly more normal sedate. We should have a quickstep to Mrs Robinson - but the Lemonheads version, rather than Simon and Garfunkel because, well, it's quicker. The obvious change is that the dancers should be dressed as Lemongrab and Lumpy Space Princess from Adventure Time. Look, I only said slightly more normal. I'd post a picture but they're twitchy about copyright - you'll just have to Google.

I was also thinking they should do some alternative dances next year, just to keep things fresh. You know, things like the valeta (I can actually do this one - don't ask), a minuet or bosa nova. My favourite is the Gay Gordons - and not just because it contains a type of gin.

This week, of course, sees our first 'a-thon' of the series - and this time round it's a paso doble. THAT should be interesting, seeing as how a paso needs loads of room, the floor is tiny and the dancers can't get in each others' way. One false move and it'll look like kicking out time at the Ritz on a Saturday night - fists and feet flying while the bouncers (Shirl & Co) look bored and leave them to it. More on that later.

But what happened in the rest of the dances? Who will be the next to leave the fold and who will be in sniffing distance of the trophy? There's only one way to find out....buckle up duckies, let's get this show on the road.

Joe McFadden and Katya kicked us off with a quickstep to Jumpin' Jack by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. I know I'm not Joe's Number One Fan but I actually quite enjoyed this dance. It took a little while to get going but when it did it was really rather good. Joe was fleet footed, nimble and light. There were loads of leaps and kicks, tricks and flicks in a technically very difficult dance. Joe and Katya were tight and together throughout with some nice side-by-side sequences and some very nice scatter chasses in the promenades (I nicked that off Shirley, I'm not that good). This was a fun, entertaining routine with lots of character and sparkle. Joe was very assured with lots of sass and style. His posture and frame were pretty good but his right arm got a bit bouncy for Darcey as his stamina began to flag. A cracking 38 out of 40 for Joe.

Alexandra Burke and Gorka came next with a wiggle walk pout wave rumba to Halo by Beyoncé. If I Were A Boy I'd definitely like to dance with Alexandra but I wasn't Crazy In Love with this dance. Alexandra smouldered with a romantic, sensual feel but this was a rather basic rumba with nothing really standing out. Her hips were quite good and she had some sway and elegance, but she needed to straighten her legs more to get proper rumba action and she failed to extend properly through her arms to be more lyrical. The slow pace of the dance seemed to show up her flaws and weaknesses - this wasn't her best dance by quite some margin. The judges said they didn't really feel she had a connection with Gorka. I don't know what they were watching - I was on stand by with a bucket of water. A rare savaging from the panel and she scored just (just!) 32 out of 40.

Gemma Atkinson and Aljaž followed with a sleepy samba to River Of Dreams by Billy Joel. This weird routine started off with the pair asleep in bed. It was fun to see Aljaž's Wee Willie Winkie (hat - I'm talking about his hat) but that was soon stripped off into samba gear. Unfortunately, that was the only samba gear that got going. It was a slow, lumpy, clunky and awkward routine that was too stop / start and juddery to have any flow. Gemma had some shimmy and shake and did a decent samba roll but her arms were too flingy with no control. There was very little hip action and not a lot of bounce and rhythm. To be honest, it looked like she sleep walked her way through the dance. She did have a lovely volta, though. The judges were very critical and she was only awarded 25 out of 40.

Mollie King and AJ brought us a quickstep to Umbrella - the version by The Baseballs, not Rihanna. This was a swing version of Rhi's annoying hit and worked well with the routine. Mollie kicked up a gear this week and really tried her hardest with another tricky routine by AJ. There was lots of swing and sway, leaps, style and changes of pace in this dance. Mollie was trippy (in a good way) and clippy, light on her feet with some very nice footwork including difficult rolling pivots (thanks again, Shirl). Her frame was generally pretty good - right up to near the end when her energy began to flag and her shoulders started hunching up. There was a bit of a fluff and the end, as well, where some move or other didn't quite come off. The judges were pleased with her performance and improvement. Brolly good show, Mollie. A little overmarking by Bruno meant she achieved her highest score to date of 31 out of 40.

Davood Ghadami and Nadiya brought us a waltz to With You I'm Born Again by Billy Preston and Syreeta Wright. This was a beautiful, stripped back waltz that had no fancy gimmicks, bells or whistles. It could have exposed Davood but he coped extremely well with this sweeping, elegant number. He had very nice rise and fall, his footwork was clean and precise and he even managed a fab fleckerl. Leading Nadiya like a true gentleman he looked poised and assured, keeping his frame through changes of pace and direction. I just wish he'd close his mouth - at times he looked more gormless than genteel. The panel were impressed and he got 35 out of 40.

Debbie McGee and Giovanni gave us the second Argentine tango of the series, dancing to Por Una Cabeza by Carlos Gadel and Alfredo Le Pera or Alfred The Pear if you want the translation. Makes him sound like a vegan gangster, if you ask me. Much more romantic in Spanish. Despite the opening bars sounding like the theme tune to Fawlty Towers, this is that classic AT music you've seen in films like Scent Of A Woman and True Lies. Yes, THAT one. There was nothing Fawlty about Debbie's dancing though. She was focused, sharp and simply exquisite throughout the routine with some very impressive leg and footwork. Giovanni had thrown in tonnes of ganchos, knee kicks and flicks and splits of every shape. Debbie was limber and lithe and her ballet training definitely showed in her beautifully pointed feet and shaping in the stunning spin lift. Her balance didn't waver this week and, although the dance didn't exactly smoulder with passion, it was very entertaining. High praise from Craig, a couple of picky niggles here and there. Giovanni looked like a Manuel pleased with 38 out of 40.

Susan Calman and Kevin brought the set to a close with American Smooth to Beyond The Sea (not Beyoncé) by Bobby Darin. Set on a cruise ship, Susan looked all at sea with this number. The less serious choreography was back and Kevin seems to have taken a leaf out of Anton's book, covering his partner's flaws with comedy. It was a charming enough routine, but we've all seen the 'cheeky kiss on the lips by accident' schtick so many times before it's not so funny anymore. This dance was very low on American Smooth or foxtrot content with loads out of hold and bizarre dancing on benches. It looked more like a Two Ronnies sketch than a Strictly offering. The lifts were very low key and simple and there was lots out of hold including a section where she was skipping around holding her skirt instead of having her hand on Kevin's shoulder. Susan looked ploddy, placed and out of sorts with splayed hands and poor footwork. Sadly, she's not shown any improvement for weeks and, much as I hate to admit it, has got this far on the fact that she's a lovely lady. The panel sank her to the bottom of the leaderboard with just 21 out of 40.

Kevin & Susan don't look pleased with the judges' comments

And that was the first round over with. Now, I don't know if it's just me, but tonight just seemed a little flat after Blackpool last week. Some of the dancers seemed to be lacking in sparkle and energy and the routines weren't quite so captivating. Maybe they're at that 'nearly but not quite' fatigue point. I'm sure it will pick up as we hurtle downhill to the final.

After a bit of gossip filler to give Susan and Kevin chance to get changed it was time for the Paso Doblathon. Remember, extra points were up for grabs depending on the dancers' rankings in this bit, so it was all to play for. The winner would get seven points, second place six point and so on until last place gets one point. It had the potential to make a huge difference to the leaderboard. Would it be deadly serious, furious flamenco - or more ham than a wedding buffet? Let's see.

There were actually some Rules to this affair - no free for all madness:

1. The couples must be on the floor and dance throughout the music
2. No lifts allowed
3. The couples must move anti-clockwise only
4. No bumping into each other
5. There must be proper Paso content
6. Capes are optional

It was all a bit distracting with seven couples dancing at once so I just picked out a few obvious bits (although I was quite taken with Gorka and Giovanni mock stalking each other for a rumble at the start <fans self>).

Susan took the cape option, but just spent almost the entire dance twirling it like she was trying to get crumbs off a tablecloth and then weirdly pat-a-caking Kevin on the chest

Joe had his smell the fart face on but did some nice knee walks and had some decent shaping

Debbie seemed to fall back on doing the splits a lot and stomping about

Davood was a bit lumpy and wooden with no shaping

Mollie was very unsure, wobbly and stuck to safe moves

Alexandra was all passion, poise and attack and really performed

Gemma tried hard but was stompy and stilted.

The judges deliberated but even I called it right:

Alexandra - seven points
Joe - six points
Debbie - five points
Davood - four points
Gemma - three points
Mollie - two points
Susan - one point

At the end of it all our leaderboard looked like this:

Joe - 44
Debbie - 43
Davood & Alexandra - 39
Mollie - 33
Gemma - 28
Susan - 22

Weird to see Alexandra in the middle of the table for once. But we all know a few phone calls can knock that into a cocked hat, don't we?

Sunday slunk in like a dog who'd nicked the roast and then been sick in your shoes. My incredible powers of voodoo had worked again and MBOTH's rugby match - the third with his brand-spanking new team - was called off due to bad weather. I can't say I was disappointed. The day was spent blogging with bacon butties and The Princess Bride (the film - I didn't make sarnies for royalty, you understand).

The evening kicked off with a very eyecatching fashion based dance with the pros giving it large on the catwalk. Oti looked not a little bit like Beyoncé and the spare ginger one pouting like he'd just had his sweeties taken away. It all got a bit surreal when Anton strolled down in pink fur and Bruno popped up looking like a bling Mini Me.

Now there are only seven contestants left you'd think it wouldn't take Tess as long to get down to business. You'd be wrong. It still takes her an interminable amount of time to get down to brass tacks. At the end of the first half we knew that Alexandra was in the dance off.  Another shock! While it wasn't her best dance (I don't think the rumba is anyone's best dance to be honest) she didn't deserve to be in this position. Maybe Ye Olde 'she won't need our votes' thinking? I certainly hope so as she's genuinely one of the best and most entertaining dancers on the show.

Surprisingly, the Beeb hadn't completely blown the budget with last week's 'two guest singer' splurge and good ol' Kelly Clarkson was wheeled out to sing Meaning Of Life (maybe Level 42 should cover it - get it? No? No Hitchhikers fans in tonight? Oh well). Gorka and Janette Manrararagandboneman shook their fundamentals for the audience.

The judges came back on for their bit. No washing in the tumble drier this week (I'm so organised) so I spent the time making up some anagrams instead. We have:

I REALLY BASH BS
BRUCEY LSD SALE
WHO GOOD LIVER CARER
OI I BURNT LOON

I think I'll start a petition with the Beeb to make them change their names. This lot is much more interesting, don't you think?

Round two and it was going to be clear pretty quickly who was in danger.  It was down to Davood and Susan. Nice try, Beeb. Like there was really going to be a second massive shock. As expected, Susan would have to dance for the chance to....er..dance again. True to form, Susan was self-deprecating and entertaining. As soon as it was announced she was in the dance off she was laughing and taking the mickey out of herself with quips about making up the points and not being able to think of a more uneven contest. You've got to love her.

Well, call me an old cynic (I've been called worse) but I have to agree with Susan that this surely was the no-brainer to end all no-brainers. There was very little chance of a David v Goliath outcome for this scenario, was there? All Alexandra had to do was try and iron out the wee flaws in the first showing. Susan would need an absolute miracle to save her - something like a lighting rig falling on Alexandra or the panel being possessed by rabid Susan fans for the night. We could but hope, right?

Both couples took back to the floor to try to curry the judges' favour but it was a foregone conclusion. I don't even really need to recap the routines for you, do I? Except to say Susan went all out to have fun and give us one last entertaining show. It was quite touching. But, this isn't Hollywood and there are no fairy tale endings. Dun dun derrrrrrrrrrrn......

Susan was eliminated.

KEEP CALMAN CARRY ON - SUSAN SASHAYS AWAY

I think we can all agree she had a great run and brought some fun and real enthusiasm to this season. Things will be a lot more serious from here on in. But I won't miss Kevin's sweaty, floppy curtains in the rehearsal VTs, though. Just get a haircut, Kev.

And so the salubrious six sashay into the Quarter Finals. Who will get a semi next week? Will there be any men left in the final? Tune in next week for another round up where all will be revealed. And next week is Musicals Weeks so should lift the show back out

Until then..............KEEP DANCING!!!

By the way, I am rather excited to learn that Dancing On Ice is coming back on ITV next year. If you're very good, I might just blog on that as well. Let's face it - I've heard of hardly anyone on there either, except Orville and Keane.