Advent-ures In Dancing

 

Hello everyone! IT'S DECEMBER!! Nearly that time when some random beardy bloke commits multiple Breaking & Entering offences, drives / flies under the influence of millions of shots of alcohol (we used to leave a hefty slug of Jack Daniel's and a Bailey's for Mrs Claus) and dumps gaudily wrapped tat in your gaff. All in one night. Nice work if you can get it. Anyone else would be looking at a very long stretch at His Majesty's Pleasure.

I have not one, but two advent calendars this year. A jam & preserves one and a gin one. I'm practically a one-woman branch of the WI. HOTH gets the preserves I don't like. There is no such thing as a gin I don't like, so he's out of luck there. I do manage to hold off drinking it until the evening, though, despite it being in my Work From Home office. I say office. It's the spare bedroom. Which currently looks like a satellite branch of Amazon it has that many parcels stacked dangerously ready for wrapping and shoving under the tree. Which is still in the dump we call the cupboard under the stairs. You know, that place you scramble to hide the mess in when you're expecting company. There's even a word for that action - scurryfunging. And we are World Champions. HOTH has to hire a team of sherpas to help him get the decorations out of there.

Since it's almost time for us to put the tree up and hang the decorations, it's also almost time to put our outside mannequin up. Yes, you read that right. Most years we drag the mannequin out of the shed and dress it up in suitably themed attire. We've done Father Christmas, Buddy The Elf and, one memorable year, The Shepherd Who Had Seen Too Much.

At least it scared the carol singers off

After the last few years I think we'll go for Krampus this year. Sets the right tone, don't you think?

And so, onto Strictly. After reminding you last week that it's on Friday night because of the fubble, I durn near forgot myself! That would have been a tad embarrassing, wouldn't it? Me settling down Saturday night with a creme de menthe and pince-nez glasses to switch the telly on and find a load of blokes running around a field. Mind you, I'd probably have just thought Jason Gilkison had finally lost the plot when choreographing the pro dance. He's done worse.

We're at the Quarter Finals now and it's getting very serious. Two weeks to go until somebody gets their sticky mitts on the Glitterball, after months of blood, sweat, tears and trauma, all in the name of entertainment. Oh, and the nice paycheque. They don't do this just for the lurve of dance, you know. Even Tess & Claudia are paid more than the average UK surgeon. I'm in the wrong job.

Sorry, I digress. Strictly. Quarter Final. Dancing. Right. I'm back on track.

It's Musicals Week and, for once, they have strayed beyond Mary Poppins and Matilda. If I had to watch another chimney sweep or dancing on a school desk themed routine I'd lose the plot. And they NEVER do anything from The Rocky Horror Show. Although that might be a good thing. Imagine Anton as Frank N Furter? MY EYES!! MY EYES!!

                                     

More stomach turn than Time Warp - let's hope Tone doesn't get any ideas

(If you have been affected by any of these images, please don't call me, I have problems of my own)

The opening pro dance was to a medley of show tunes from The Greatest Showman, Everyone's Talking About Jamie (dancing on bloody school desks), Grease, Hamilton, Six, Rent, Legally Blonde, Dreamgirls and Kinky Boots. There was singing, dancing, glitter, confetti, sparkle bars, the works. Bit understated, if you ask me. Although, true story, I have held the star of ETAJ, Layton Williams when he was nobbut a nibbet - I worked with his nana. So I'm adding him to my list of people I'm virtually related to by dint of knowing their rellies.

Anyway, as we were oft reminded, our couples had one fewer day's training due to the rescheduling. Would this have any effect? Well, we shall see.

Molly & Carlos provided the night's overture with a Charleston to Hot Honey Rag from Chicago. This was previously done in 2015 by Georgia May Foote & Joe Varney, which scored 39 and is WELL worth another watch. This was a pretty good outing, too. Molly loves the fun, ditsy, happy, smiley numbers so had been looking forward to doing a Charleston. All the couples had extra dancers for this week, too, which added another dimension. The expected moves were in there - birdy flaps, pot stirrers, groove walks, swing twists, tricks & flips and the all important swivel. There was even a cartwheel. Molly was bright, bold & brassy, dancing in sync with Carlos and keeping up with the fast tempo. This was a difficult routine, which Molly handled confidently and seemingly with ease. A jolly start to the night earning the pair 38 out of 40, which had Carlos sobbing so much he nearly forgot their (grits teeth) patented heart pose.

Hamza & Jowita were up next with a Samba to They Live In You from The Lion King. Fortunately, somebody must have had A Word with the costume department and Hamza escaped the stupid animal onesie poor Richie had been saddled with. Mind you, if Hamza does have a spirit animal it is surely the Quokka. The smiliest creature in the Animal Kingdom with more than a little resemblance to Hamza.    

                                   

This was a fabulous dance. Hamza nailed the choreography, which had every samba move you could wish for. He was graceful, powerful, smooth and in control from start to finish. His posture was beautiful, his footwork was sleek and his legs were fabulous. The samba rolls were gorgeous and Hamza's hipwork - including side-to-side and figure-of-eight moves were lovely to watch. His arms were fluid, his lines finished and his transitions were seamless.There was just the right amount of bounce, all in the right places. Hamza's upper body was so still he could have carried a trifle on his head with no spillage. For me, this was Simba-ly the best, but the judges found little niggles and he scored 36 out of 40.

Kym & Graziano were back from being poorly-sick-and-can't-eat-custard, bringing a nostalgic Cha Cha Cha to Fame from Fame. In full on 80s garb with big hair, cropped jumper, leotard and leg warmers, Kym was trying to make sure we remembered her name, alright. This seemed to be a disco-based Cha Cha Cha but had enough content to stay on the right side of the judges. Her legs were nice and straight, her hips, isolation and rotation were good, too. Apparently, she's a gran (she only mentions it, like, every week) but she has bags & bags of energy and stamina, easily keeping up with Graziano and the backing dancers. Her solo spots were good, but her weight was a little too far back in places which sent the timing off a tad. For me, it could have been a bit 'bigger', but the judges loved it, awarding 34 out of 40.

Will & Nancy followed with a Foxtrot to Sun And Moon from Miss Saigon.  Will always dances better when he can connect with the music and tell a story, and this really showed in this routine. This was a touching and romantic dance, with emotional light and shade. Will had great arms & top line throughout the number and his footwork was sublime. He had obviously worked really hard and it paid off. His heel turns were tight and on point, he brought his feet together nicely and flowed across he floor, leading Nancy like a pro. His timing was spot on and his performance of the narrative was engaging and a pleasure to watch. The panel heaped praise upon praise and the couple scored a near-perfect 39 out of 40.

My absolute favourite dance of the night - and definitely of the entire series so far - was an absolutely magnificent Helen & Gorka with their Couple's Choice to Mein Herr from Cabaret. Erm, who are you and what have you done with the real Helen Skelton? My Gods. This was an incredible routine, full of content, drama, style, story and downright filth. Helen was completely unrecognisable to previous weeks - sexy, sultry, controlled and controlling, an extremely confident femme fatal.

Almost dominatrix-like (I once accidentally went to a  family-friendly fancy dress party at a church dressed as a dominatrix, but that's a story for another day), Helen absolutely owned this dance, Gorka, the backing dancers, the whole floor and the entire audience. From the first note to the last, Helen was completely in character, on beat, in time and in sync with her partner and those around her. She played the the dance up, with nods & asides to the camera and looked like she was enjoying every single second - and so was everyone else. The dance got faster and faster, the tricks and moves more complex, nods to Fosse, Charleston and Burlesque. Just...bloody brilliant. A tiny criticism from Craig got him the biggest, loudest, longest boo I have ever heard in the history of Strictly and possibly the worst he's had in his career. He looked really embarrassed and abashed - even more so when he failed to pull out the 10 paddle. A cracking 39 out of 40 which SHOULD have been a full house. I made HOTH rewind the show at the end so I could watch it all over again. I mean. it's up there with Danny & Oti's American Smooth for me, and that's saying a lot.

Fleur & Vito brought the curtain down on the night with a Quickstep to I Got Rhythm from An American In Paris. Fleur looked gorgeous in a lovely 50s style dress and danced with lovely 50s style grace. This was a proper Hollywood Big Sound Stage routine, full of content, changes of pace & direction, light & shade. Fleur pulled out a great performance, glowing and confident as she fair flew across the floor on feather-like feet. Her posture and poise were on point, she was great both in and out of hold and was very polished in a dance that was slick, speedy and smooth. Fleur's characterisation was joyful, big in a good way and she played it to the gods. Probably her best dance after Blackpool, this outing earned her 38 out of 40.

All in all, this was a cracking night with top drawer performances from all the couples. The mood in the Clauditorium was hyped, everyone clearly having as fab a night as we were. But someone still has to go home.

And so it was Saturday, which is usually Sunday. Today's advent goodies were Welsh Wind gin and an apricot & linden flower jam. No, me either. And Google provides conflicting information. It's apparently like chamomile with black liquorice notes. I've not been brave enough to try it yet.

We were treated to another pro dance to Luck Be A Lady Tonight and Sit Down You're Rockin' The Boat from Guys & Dolls. With most of our pro dolls dressed as guys. There was the usual recap of the previous night with extra comments from the panel. Then it was down to business.

You know the drill by now. Tess took her own sweet time while the couples endured Squeaky Bum Time waiting to see who was in the dance off. Finally, after Everest had been reduced to sand by the ravages of time we found the the first pair in peril were...

MOLLY & CARLOS. Again. Even after that wee cracker last night, she's not captured the audience. It must be disheartening, especially for Carlos in his first season as a pro dancer on the show. Maybe it's the ringeriness (I'm not sure that's a real word but spellcheck didn't pick it up so I'm going with it), the stage school engrained wobbly eyes and shiny teeth persona or the flipping Vote For Us heart pose that's putting people off. She plastered on a smile but Carlos looked peed off.

The Clauditorium gets less and less crowded these days. Will was wondering what it will take to get him to the final. Helen is taking Gorka to her farm next week, possibly NOT in the outfit he was wearing. Mesh is a reet bugger to get sheep muck out of. 

Tonight's musical moments were provided by stars of The Cher Show. Sadly, not a chronicle of her ever changing facial features. Mind you, that would need a cast of thousands. We had Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves, I Found Someone and Believe, all with gyrating gymnastics from its cast of dancers. Fair made me want to order a prawn cocktail, steak and chips and Black Forest gateau like the Dinner And A Turn nights out from the 70s.

Judges were back this week. Shirley drooled over Hamza (not literally, thank goodness). There was praise for Molly from Motsi, Anton explaining Will's Three Step - I'm still no clearer - and Craig trying to mitigate his meanness to Helen. He still looked embarrassed when they replayed the clip and admitted it was his biggest boo and it shook the rafters.

Back to the eliminations. In a time span longer than that between The Big Bang and when the cats woke me up to get their breakfast this morning Tess announced that the second couple in the dance off were...

KYM & GRAZIANO. It must have been a close call, although they were bottom of the leaderboard, albeit on 34 out of 40 - Tony stayed in with fewer points. This was all going to be down to the judges' decision.

The Claud crew Hamza expressed his amazement and gratitude at still being in the competition. Fleur thanked everyone and leaked the secret that it's a good job Vito can dance when she sets him a singing challenge.

And so to the Dance Off. Both couples managed to pull out something extra from somewhere - Molly getting her elbows up to Craig-pleasing positions and upping the oopmh, Kym putting in more rotation and performance. Both couples really trying and fighting for a place in next week's semi-final.

The judges deliberated, cogitated and decided. With a split decision, it was down to Head Judge Shirley to choose her victor and the couple sent home were...

KYM & GRAZIANO. It's a shame, but the calibre of contestants this year is, now at least, very high and the judges' decisions will be based on the tiniest of margins. But Graziano has gone further than ever before and I reckon they'll be back on the tour, so it's not all bad. A very touching farewell speech and declarations of Friends For Life and Kym was off to hang up her heels.

Next week is the Semi Final. Who will fall at the final hurdle, have their dreams dashed at the last minute? Only one way to find out - join me next week. BUT not at the usual time and place. The live show is on SUNDAY instead and the results show on MONDAY night. I'll try to remember. Until then....

KEEP DANCING........

Taxi for Kym - one way to Weatherfield