Here We Go Again

 

Hello, everyone. What am I like? I tell you I'm not doing a blog one week, but I do. Then I say I am doing a blog, but don't! I do have a very good excuse, though. Well, two. Saturday was HOTH's cousin's daughter's 18th (keep up) which was brilliant. We got to see people we hadn't been able to because of Covid, had a fab time, ate loads of delicious food and were almost blown up with the fireworks. Ah, good times. Then Sunday was SOTH's birthday. Apparently 17 years have passed since he made his grand entrance as one of the last babies to be born in a Salford maternity wing. Doesn't seem like five minutes ago that HOTH was told to stand in a corner and hold a cushion while I mooed like a prize heifer in labour. Ah, good times. Well, it was after the epidural, anyway.

Right. Let me start off by saying I am Not Happy. Ellie S was wrongfully booted out last week, in my opinion. There (Tony) were (Tony) far (Tony) worse (Tony) dancers (Tony) than (Tony) her (Tony). Although I won't say who. Tony. We're hurtling towards Blackpool and good dancers are being eliminated in favour of the 'comedy' bad dancers. The 'ah, bless' dancers. The 'go on, my son' dancers. It better not happen again this week.

So, what DID happen? Let me madly recap the sounds, shapes and sights - and some of them were proper sights, trust me.

Ellie T & Johannes kicked things off with a cracking Charleston to Friendship by Elaine Paige and Bernard Cribbins. I bloody loved Bernard Cribbins. He was my grandad in my 'fantasy family'. From when I was a teeny tot watching Jackanory and The Wombles to his role in Doctor Who as Wilfred Mott. HOTH even got me a signed photo that I treasure. I was truly sad when he passed. But, I'm supposed to be telling you about Team Jellie's performance.

This was vintage Charleston - Roaring Twenties style. Ellie looked lovely in a happy, clappy, flapper outfit and JoJo was dapper in striped blazer and boater. This was a fun routine from the outset, full of every Charleston move you could wish for and some quite tricky content. Ellie's character suited her down to the ground and the pair were obviously having tons of fun. She had really good swivel and the side-by-side sections were wonderfully in sync. There were some fab lifts and tricks, including a great jacket-ography bit where Ellie took JoJo's jacket off in one move, turned around and ended up wearing it herself. A really good opener to the show. Ellie sold it and I totally bought it. 31 out of 40 was scored.

Tyler & Dianne came next with a Paso Doble to Unstoppable by E S Posthumus. Hmm. Now, I'm a huge fan of the Paso. I even have a fantasy Paso with Gio to the theme from Game of Thrones (no, I am not dressed as a dragon). I'm afraid this just didn't work for me, even with Tyler almost half-naked. Yes, there was drama, but there was no passion. There was attack, but no intent. It was all a bit style over substance. Tyler's arms were okay, but there were no properly finished Spanish lines, not a great deal of classic Paso footwork and no transitions. It was all a bit too square and blocky. Tyler seemed to go wrong on a couple of occasions and he looked like he wasn't enjoying himself. He did have some nice heel leads and he led Dianne well but, for me, this was his worst dance. With Anton overmarking, the couple scored 31 out of 40. Has Tyler plateaued?

Kym & Graziano were next with a waltz-based American Smooth to Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. Kym's midnight blue dress was gorgeous and Graz was resplendent in tails - although he had so much product in his hair the RSPB were on standby for when he had a shower. This song is very meaningful to Kym and it looked liked the emotion got to her a little. It was a slow & stylish dance, but there was too much waltz content for me. It wasn't until the lifts I remembered it was an AS. This is why I prefer the Foxtrot-based ones. It was a very nice routine, don't get me wrong. It was lyrical, flowing and touching. Kym's frame was good and her footwork neat, especially her heel turn. She went squiffy in offering the wrong leg for a lift and there were a few other errors dotted around in the routine, though. The judges quite liked it and Kym & Graz joined the 31 out of 40 club.

Helen & Gorka showcased a Salsa to Despacito by Luis Fonzi & Daddy Yankee ft Justin Bieber (and Uncle Tom Cobbley and all). Helen really came out of her shell last week and shone for the first time. Would she be able to keep that up? Well, largely, yes. She was sexy, flirty and sassy, carrying off the solo spots with no sign of nerves or wobble. This was a hot & spicy number with tons of tricky choreography. Helen's hips didn't lie (yes, I know that was Shakira) and she had really good rotation and isolation. Her feet were good and she showed real rhythm and musicality. There were some nice tricks and lifts, although I felt Gorka bigged them up a bit too much, especially the last throw lift he said could be dangerous if it went wrong.

                                      

                                    What I was expecting                    What we got

It was, though, a very enjoyable dance. Helen made a couple of little errors and Shirl & Craig want her to work on her spotting and head / neck positions. A decent 32 out of 40 was awarded.

Tony & Katya took to the floor with a Jive to Land of 1000 Dances by Wilson Pickett. Tony was kinda sorta dressed like Buddy Holly but this was more Bloody Helly. This was a car crash that wouldn't have looked out of place in a Final Destination film. Tony started out bursting through a poster of himself like The Shawshank Redemption in reverse. To be fair, he should be locked up for this routine. This was 'Tell Us You Can't Dance Without Telling Us You Can't Dance'. I do admire Tony, though, truly. He puts the hours in, he works hard and he really tries. Unfortunately, it doesn't translate on the night. Gone were the classic kicks and flicks, replaced by what looked like a free kick attempt at Goodison Park (get me, knowing about football). The last time I saw kicks like that it was Buster Bloodvessel from Bad Manners doing the Can Can.

Tony was counting out the steps as he went along, with Katya obviously bellowing at him from behind a rictus grin. Poor Tone's kicks and flicks were poor and his retraction had been shown the red card and sent for an early bath. He had gone back to the move / stop / move / stop from earlier in the competition and it just didn't flow. The best part was the roly-polys near the end. With pity points from Anton and Shirley the pair got 24 out of 40.

Molly & Carlos presented a Rumba to All The Man That I Need by Whitney Houston. Carlos had told Molly to practice moving around by walking like a cat. Thankfully, this did not include stopping halfway to lick her bum like our two do. And why do they maintain eye contact while they do it? Anyway. Molly & Carlos refrained from such antics and did a Rumba. You know my feelings on this dance by now. It hasn't changed. Apparently, according to the panel, this was Very Good. They told us the routine had very tricky elements, lots of classic Rumba steps and moves and Molly's walks had Shirley purring. I definitely saw light and shade in the choreography, there were changes of pace and mood and you can't deny there is chemistry between the two. A whopping 37 out of 40 on the panel's paddles. 

Fleur & Vito sizzled with a Samba to Hot, Hot, Hot by Arrow. This was a corker of a routine. There was tons of content in a full on, high-energy dance that started how it meant to go on. Fleur had great hip action, rotation, isolation and shimmy. Her footwork was fab, fab, fab in and out of hold, she had great musicality and rhythm and was on point from start to finish. Fleur's lines, shaping and arms were lovely and she had the perfect attitude, throwing herself into from the first beat to the last. Motsi was in tears, Craig loved it and even Shirley was nice to her. An almost perfect 39 out of 40 was scored in Fleur's best dance to date - even if her frock did make her look like The Very Hungry Caterpillar.        

                                             

Will & Nancy were our penultimate pair with a Waltz to Three Times A Lady by The Commodores. I can't claim to have ever been a lady (I always change song lyrics to very rude ones) but I did have a Commodore 64 computer back in t'day. Daley Thompson's Decathlon game proper knackered my joystick, I can tell you. But I digress, again. I really must start paying attention.

This was another emotional dance as Will's recently passed dad used to sing it to Will's mum. I'm sure his dad would have been very proud of him last night. The couple flowed across the floor, lovely rise and fall helping them glide along. Will's feet were beautiful throughout, closing together as they should. His top line and frame were near immaculate and he managed the natural and reverse turns really well. The choreography was elegant with changes of pace and direction, having a touching and romantic feel without being schmaltzy. Will was struggling to keep his emotions in check at the end and could barely speak to Tess or Claudia. Nancy's words in their interview had me in tears - and that doesn't happen often. A high score of 38 out of 40 put the pair top of the leaderboard.

Hamza & Jowita rounded off the night with a Couple's Choice to Jerusalema remix by Master KG ft Burna Boy & Nomcebo Zikode (and The Grand Old Duke of York, with his Ten Thousand Men). Bloody hell, this bloke can dance. The pair are a real joy to watch as Hamza's enthusiasm and love of dance shine bright. He's never really still - and some of the others could take note - as he continues to move during transitions, when Jowita is dancing around him, in between sections, the works. This was a joyous, fun and rhythmical dance bringing real African moves and steps - a first for Strictly and which had Motsi in tears. Hamza is rhythm personified, the music is in his soul. While the timing went a little bit off at the end, I could forgive that as the lifts were utterly astounding. Jowita must weigh about the same as a bag of Frazzles but Hamza's skill in carrying them off is crazy good. Now, Gorka darling, those were dangerous lifts. 38 out of 40 - could it have been the first full house if not for the tiny timing errors? Who knows.

And then we were done. Our remaining couples had strutted, strolled, shimmied, shook and swayed the best they could. Hamza & Will at the top of the leaderboard, Tony propping up the pile, half of the rest with 31 points apiece.

The standard on the night was mainly pretty high - everyone wants to get to Blackpool next week, especially after the enforced absence due to Covid (henceforth known as The Event a la Mitchell & Webb).You remember, right?

 

So who won't be on the charabanc (an early form of coach used for pleasure trips, referred to as 'The Sharra' for you youngsters)? Only the Viewer Votes will decide that.

Sunday was, of course Remembrance Sunday. The pro dances over the years have always been a moving tribute to The Fallen and this was no exception. This was a beautiful, simple, stripped back formation ballroom dance to I Vow To Thee My Country (Jupiter from The Planets Suite) ending with a photo of The Queen when she served in the war.

And so to the votes. You'd think with only nine couples this wouldn't take as long. Ha! Amateurs! Tess isn't going to hurry this part up in a million years. Which, funnily enough, was how long it took her to announce that the first pair in peril were...

TYLER AND DIANNE. Actually, this didn't surprise me. It was by far his weakest dance to date and he didn't pull it off very well (unlike his jacket which he sheds PDQ to show his weird, spangly epaulettes or whatever they were. Already in the Middle of the Leaderboard dangerzone, it must have been in the back of his mind. Compared to the others with the same score, Tyler was my least favourite. Would it be time to say goodbye without even a sniff of the Golden Mile? Which gets pretty whiffy at the weekend, truth be told. He took it in good grace and listened to the feedback Shirley & Anton provided.

Up in the Clauditorium everyone was all abuzz with the Dance Off Gang. We heard about the Fleurito Burrito made in the couple's honour, which sounds pretty tasty - much like Vito. Kym was emotional - and Graz is chuffed to mintballs he actually gets to dance with a partner at Blackpool for the very first time. Plus we learned he can butter bread. Carlos, according to Molly, is a human - which is very reassuring. I did wonder.

The 'turn' was the sublime Sheku Kanneh-Mason, accompanied by Zac. Now, the cello is my absolute, bestest favourite instrument to listen to. You play air guitar? I play air cello. Which, I admit, can look a bit weird. Obviously, I don't play the real thing. I'm so small I'd look like an Oompa Loompa playing a double bass.

Good job Sheku can play so well. I could listen to him all night. Sadly, I had to make do with the three minutes or so allotted while the pro dancers did their bit. Ah, I'll take what I can. There's always downloads. It was a very nice outing, even with Nikita & Amy folldedolling around in front of them. And lamps shaped like the Demogorgon from Stranger Things. 

The judges had their usual recap of the replays - sort of like Match of the Day but talking about bota fogas instead of feet and balls. Motsi was gorgeous in a simple black trouser combo - I'm usually a bit distracted by her hair and dresses. Shirley gushed over Fleur, Anton tips Ellie for a West End career in the comedy roles. I can see that. Craig explained why he marked Tyler down, but made it clear he's a big fan. And the chat about the return to Blackpool showed us the time - the one and only time - Anton got 10s from Shirley and Bruno.

Down in the Den of Doom, Daley droned dozily for decades. Rip Van Winkle had just woken from his nap when we were finally told that the second couple fighting to stay in the competition were...

TONY & KATYA. Ah, sense at last by the public. He should really have been here weeks ago if we're all being honest. Being funny and hapless only gets you so far, even if |Craig secretly loves Tony's dancing. 

Up with the Safe Squad, Hamza told us his work patner reckons he can chuck Jowita around is because of the weight of the camera kit he has to carry. Helen is looking forward to being Up North again where people can understand her accent (it's honestly not that bad), Ellie confessed to future jealousy of JoJo's next dance partners and Will apologised for being so emotional. You can take the lad out of Manchester and all that. 

But there was NO DANCE OFF. In what was a bit of an anticlimax, Tony withdrew with a hamstring injury he had sustained on Saturday and withdrew from the competition - just like that. Now. I'm not one to speculate on co-inky-dinkies, but this did seem to come at an opportune moment. But, Tony isn't as young as he used to be when he played football and injuries are picked up quicker and heal slower once you're past a certain age (about 24 for me). I hope he's in fine fettle soon. I mean, there's always the Tour and his Full Monty routine, right? You can't deny the public loved him and as an ambassador for mental health and addiction issues, there are people who look up to him and might see some hope. 

And so we're done for another week. I will see you all in Blackpool for a sugar dummy and a portion of chips on the front. Until then......

KEEP DANCING!

Would you Adams & leave it? Tony gets the Strictly red card