Well, here we are at last. The week we've all been waiting for. We started off with a Dancing Dozen of celebrities - several of which I'd actually heard of - and whittled them down one by one until we were left with the Final Four. From pop stars to politicians, soap slebs to sporties, each fell by the wayside, leaving us with:
Bill & Oti
HRVY & Janette
Jamie & Karen
Maisie & Gorka
Tonight their fate lay solely in the hands of the public. A popularity contest of who the folks at home wanted to have it more. Anyone could have won, but only one WOULD. This week, our finalists were doing three dances: The Judges' Choice - one they thought the couples could have improved, The Showdance - where anything goes, and The Couples' Favourite. The Twelve Dances Of Christmas.
It's been a very busy weekend with all the socially distant running around & shopping. Trying to guess if five hundredweight of easy peelers will be enough for three people, wondering what to get for Auntie Beryl. Then remembering you don't actually have an Auntie Beryl, so what are you worrying for? Whoever wrote that Christmas is The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year has obviously never had to brave the scrum in Card Factory looking for a 'To A Wonderful Binman At Christmas' (don't bother looking for one, they don't have them). Christmas? Christmad more like.
With that and the lockdown news that was on just before Strictly I haven't really had time to do the full blog, I'm afraid. So, I've decided to do something just a little bit different for my last Strictly post. I'm giving you a poem (WAIT! COME BACK! It's not that bad. I've been published, I'll have you know).
It was Strictly, The Final
HRVY the popstar opened the show
With the jive from week one that had then scored quite low
He'd put in the practice and polished his dance
And scoring near perfect, he was in with a chance
Jamie came next, with his moves Herculean
His Charleston rejigged that the Judges were keen on
He swivelled and wiggled and covered the floor
With twenty-six scored, but he should have got more
Bill Bailey, the comic, a Quickstep he brought
The Panel had liked it, but the score came up short
This time he was sharper, his rhythm much better
The steps that he danced? Had them down to the letter
Maisie's first go was her samba with Gorka
She gave it some welly, the routine a corker
Her top line was epic, her hips had rotation
Surely now she'd win the hearts of the nation?
So back round to HRVY, his showdance quite stunning
Janette's choreography was clever and cunning
There were steps from all dances, the timing so fine
The Panel were happy, and he scored twenty-nine
Baron Von Biscuits, with his second shot
Went out hell for leather, he gave us the lot
Cartwheels and spinning, dancing quickly and slowly
And to cap it all off a big roly poly!
Bill came out next all fierce fire and passion
With a dance to rock music, as is his fashion
Oti was spinning, his guitar was on fire
And with a ten from each Judge he couldn't score higher
Maisie returned with a Christmas themed number
With everything in there except, phew, the rumba
The nailed all the steps, the scary drum leap
And was the second contestant to score a clean sweep
HRVY's last dance was the American Smooth
With a high score last time, was there room to improve?
Well pickle me walnuts, as Len used to say
He only went and did it, scoring tens all the way
Jamie & Karen brought their time to a close
With their Street Commercial that was more than just pose
He ramped up the tempo, the flair and the fun
He also scored thirty, oh wait, minus one
Bill & Miss Oti reprised Rapper's Delight
Which, for me - I'll be honest - was the dance of the night
He was slicker and quicker, with popping & locking
But didn't score thirty which is frankly quite shocking
Maisie's last dance brought an end to the show
With her stunning Quickstep that was great from the go
She was fast, fleet and fab, her feet were aflame
But would the Glitterball trophy be hers to claim?
First Bruno showed up, then Nicola and Katya
And the rest of the cast coming dancing right at ya
Macca & Idris, Robbie singing a song
Who was the winner? We didn't wait long
The people had rung in, the public got votey
The victors were announced as......
BILL BAILEY & OTI!!!!
Now Bill had been expected to be quite a donkey
People thought that his dances would be rather shonky
But never judge a book just by its cover
He turned out to be quite the Strictly dance lover
And he walked off last night with the best prize of all
Win Two for Oti and the fine Glitterball
And there we have it for another year. Only the Christmas Special next week with the favourite 25 dances across the years that Strictly has been on. So, you know we're going to get Ann Widdecombe being used as a mop and Ed Balls teabagging poor Katya Gangnam Style.
Thank you for reading along. It's been great fun doing the blog again. Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year. Keep safe and - most of all
KEEEEEEEEEEP DANCING!!!!!
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