While I've still got your attention - unless you've just scrolled to the bottom to see who got binned - I won't be blogging for the next two weeks. Next Saturday we're off to see Jason Manford - at the Arena, not round his gaff, like (although HOTH is mates with Jason's brother). And I know the week after is Halloween and usually a lot of fun, but it's our wedding anniversary and I'll have more entertaining things on my hands than bashing at a keyboard on a Sunday morning.
Right, now that's all out of the way, let's turn our attention to the task at hand - Movie Night on Strictly. Some people get sniffy at the 'Americanism' and think it should be Film Night but I give not one jot either way, to be honest. It has long been 'The Pictures' in our house. My very first foray was to see Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs (NOT its premiere you cheeky things) where I apparently stood on my chair and shouted 'Don't eat the apple! Don't eat the apple!' I was seventeen at the time so I should have known better. I jest - I was about four. It was a much more successful outing than when I was taken to the circus and had to be brought home after screaming hysterically when the clowns came out. What? They're sinister. I knew that long before Stephen King penned IT.
Anyway. Strictly. Well, it was quite the jolly caper and I even knew most of the songs and films they were on about. The show opened with a wee skit involving Anton planning to steal the Glitterball with the help of Craig and the cast. It was a fun start to the night - especially Tony Adams backflipping across the floor. What do you mean it wasn't him?!
The pro dance was, quite frankly, amazing. I could have turned the telly off after watching just that. The routine was to 'We Don't Talk About Bruno' from Encanto. Now, was that a subtle dig at the departed Mr Tonioli or a co-inky-dinky? Chinny reckon, says I. Although Claudia tried to put us off the scent by saying they talk about him all the time. Ha, as if. From the beginning the pro number was captivating and mesmerising - Karen as Mirabel, brooding Italian Stallions Graz, Gio & Vito, fabulous costumes and choreography. It were proper bo, I tell thee. And so on with the show. Lights, camera, action - we're rolling.
Up first were Richie & Giovanni dancing a Samba to Hakuna Matata from The Lion King. I'm not quite sure whose idea it was to dress them as Timon and Pumbaa but I'm never going to see Gio in quite the same way. It's taken me yonks to stop thinking of him as a sexy gerbil, now a warthog?
This was a silly, fun and energetic start to the show with Richie going for it big style and shaking everything his momma gave him - even if it wasn't part of the choreography. It took a while to get going as the pair spent time bantering with the judges - Richie wiggling his bum in Craig's face and Gio near snogging Shirley. When it did start it was utterly bonkers! There was loads of content and some tricky stuff - promenades, walks, locks and bounce - but not enough for Craig. Richie had bags of stamina but his arms were a bit flingy and he got uncoordinated at times like an over-excited labrador puppy (without the widdle on the floor. One would hope). His sync with Gio was good but the theme of the dance - and the costumes - meant it lacked fluidity and the usual Samba rolls - maybe they were doing Simba rolls. I'm not lion, because pride comes before a fall, but this put a smile on my face for sure. 27 out of 40 scored.
Molly & Carlos were up next with a Waltz to One Hand, One Heart from West Side Story. Look, you don't need me to tell you that stage school trained Molly is good. This was a lovely, smooth, flowing routine with some gorgeous rise and fall. A stripped back dance with no gimmicks and tricks, this showed her flair and style well. She had some beautiful footwork and very nice shaping and frame. There was some good, moving storytelling in Carlos' choreography and Molly carried it off. Anton wants to see more time in hold, though. With a 'gawjuss' from Craig the pair earned 34 out of 40.
Following this were Kym & Graziano with a Charley-stone, sorry, Charleston to If My Friends Could See Me Now from Sweet Charity. Kym started with a good solo spot and coped well with some tricky bits. She showed great character and played it up well in a silly, showbiz routine. There were some fab lifts and spins which she controlled well, including leaping blind, backwards into Graz's arms which needs some trust. Imagine if they'd had a barney before coming out and he let her drop? The pair were in sync most of the time but Kym lacked swivel and the moves were not always 'big' enough. Again, the judges must have been watching a different dance as Anton called it the 'best of the series so far' which was utter hyperbole, and Graz getting the first 9s of his Strictly career. 33 out of 40 scored.
Hamster & Jowita brought the first Rumba of the series to the Theme from Jurassic Park. Not the tune that springs to mind when someone says 'sexy dance' - and definitely not the 'vertical expression of horizontal desire' as Shirl calls it. If you've read this blog before you know my feelings on the Rumba. Walk, walk, wiggle, pout, walk, wave your arms a bit, wiggle. It's boring. And, sorry Hamza, my mind wasn't changed last night. I wish they'd kept the dino costumes they'd had on for the VT - at least that would have been interesting. Hamza had some nice lines and shaping, his hips were good and he had a decent attempt at cucarachas (don't ask me, I'm just nicking what Motsi said. I thought it was Spanish for cockroach) but it was all very careful & placed. There wasn't a lot of content - even for a Rumba - and it needed more light, shade & resistance. A low 25 out of 40 for the pair.
Ellie T & Johannes followed with a Cha Cha Cha to The Shoop Shoop Song from Mermaids. Or, as I sing, 'if you want to know if he loves you so just get him....drunk' (or words to that effect). Ellie nailed a cheeky, fun character and there were some good twists - her hips, not in the plot of the dance - and her frame in hold wasn't too bad. Her arms were a bit loose out of hold and she needed more isolation. Her weight was in the wrong place over her feet, though, and that hampered the straight leg needed for a decent Cha Cha Cha. Shirl got really narky and told everyone off for doing heel leads and Anton said Ellie has a 'problem down below'. It'll be all those sequins - I know the feeling. A miserable 21 out of 40.
Matt & Nadiya took to the floor with a Viennese Waltz to Hold My Hand from Top Gun. Matt wheeled out the 'dedicate this to my grandad' bit but at least his kecks were looser this week and the only cockpit we saw was in the VT. He has worked on the gapping issues, did well with some natural and reverse turns and it was much better than last week. Unfortunately, his frame and positioning were shocking, his feet flat and he was too stiff (stop it). It was all a bit stop / start again and there was no emotion in what should have been a romantic number. He doesn't seem to gel with Nadiya on the dance floor - I've seen more connection in a bag of marbles. The dance split the judges - a mean three from Craig and a ridiculous seven from Anton - no wonder Matt looked confused. A bit like a dog being taught quantum theory. 21 out of 40 in total.
Tyler & Dianne brought us simply one of the best Charlestons I ever seen on Strictly to Flash, Bang, Wallop! from Half a Sixpence. Blimey O'Riley. Tyler had run the London Marathon on Sunday (he did well getting back to the studio for the results show, didn't he?) before the training started again on the Monday. You'd never have known as this dance was a full on, high energy, high octane thrill from start to finish. Tyler was gobsmackingly good in a routine that Dianne said she'd struggled with at the start. Bags and bags of character, cheeky nods and winks and his own little flourishes - he really got the crowd going. There was practically every Charleston move going in the choreography - and some I don't think ever have been. He had fantastic swivel in his feet, which flew over the floor, his sync and rhythm were fantastic and the lifts - including giving Dianne a flying twizzer by the ankles - were out of this world. Wow, wow, wow. A Fab-u-lous from Craig and the first 10s of the series from Motsi & Shirley, the dazzling duo scored 38 out of 40. In. Week. Three.
Fleur & Vito had to followed this with an American Smooth to Part of Your World from The Little Mermaid. I won't dwell on the furore about the recent remake with a lady of colour as Arial. If you have a problem with it we can't be friends. Well, we could tell what they'd spent the CGI budget on this week. I wasn't sure what was set and what was pixels. Which I suppose is the point. Fleur was graceful and elegant throughout the dance with some nice lyrical flow. She was light on her feet and she had worked on finishing her lines. The lifts were okay - Vito cartwheeling his way into one - and Fleur's core and frame are improving. She still needs to work on her transitions, though, and she needs to polish and finesse the finer details - especially not picking her feet up between steps. Shirl was nicer to Fleur this week and a total of 29 out of 40 was awarded.
James & Amy - dyed green for the show - came on with what we were told was a Cha Cha Cha to a medley of tunes from Guardians of The Galaxy - settling on Hooked On A Feeling. Erm...I've seen worse. James had a fun solo start & break, channelling his inner Star Lord but he was so wooden & stiff he should have been Groot. Actually. scratch that - Groot has a personality. His weight was over his feet nicely and his shimmies were fine but other than that it was a bit of a nightmare. The trouble is, he doesn't perform a dance. He just does it. 'I move this bit, then wave that bit, now stand over here'. He's supposed to be an actor for crying out loud (well, I mean, he's on EastEnders but that's what it says on his CV). He's got character off the dance floor - he just leaves it in the dressing room. He was flat-footed, there was no hip rotation or isolation, he got out of sync and lost timing. Maybe if he actually looked at Amy during the dance he'd do better. 22 out of 40 was all he got.
Ellie & Nikita thankfully wakened me from my doze with an altogether more entertaining Quickstep to Peppy & George from The Artist. I wish I had half the energy and determination Ellie has. She's a superstar. Her partnership with Nikita is great and you can tell there's real friendship and mutual respect. Nikita did look a bit like Clark-Gable-Meets-Gomez-Addams with dyed black hair but Ellie was stunning again in a Flapper outfit. Fleet, fast, fun & joyful this was a routine chock full of content. Ellie's character was good and she did well both in and out of hold. Sadly, she made some errors and her footwork went awry. There were no heel leads (make your mind up Ballas) and her timing went off. Not her best dance but a fair 27 out of 40 was given.
Will & Nancy brought us the second American Smooth of the night to Cry To Me from Dirty Dancing. Now, if you want to see proper partnership connection you need to look no further than this pair. This is how you do it. Will's eyes were glued to Nancy's throughout this dance, from her carrying the watermelon to the last note. I can forgive Will's 'Smell The Fart' facial expression if he keeps on like this. He had lovely arms, frame and finishes, there was no gapping in hold and he managed the lifts very well. There was great footwork, sync and musicality and, damn it, he made an American Smooth sexy. A decent 33 out of 40 scored.
So....you know how Tony Beak used to use a load of gimmicks to hide how bad his partner was? Well, this year it's the turn of Katya & Tony. Dancing (and I use that term loosely and under advisement) a Samba to You Sexy Thing from The Full Monty the pair had not gone for a traditional fiesta style Samba. Oh, no. I don't know what it was, but it definitely wasn't in the dance rule book. Or a Samba. Coming out dressed as a security guard - as in the film - Tony looked a little more like Blakey from On The Buses.
This was pure Strictly cheese with a side of Branston. Tony plodded round the floor with all the grace of a hippo with concussion in a dance that was both clunky and wild. But, you know what? It was fun. Tony had a tiny go at a Samba roll, but he mainly walked round stripping off down to his sparkly shorts, though thankfully no glitterballs were on show. He really went for it and, while he has no rhythm and can never remember a dance all the way through, he didn't take himself seriously. Motsi & Shirl were in hysterics and could barely give a critique. A very low 18 out of 40 - down from last week.
Helen & Gorka reminded us all that this is a dance competition though. With a very sweet Viennese Waltz to Hopelessly Devoted To You from Grease the pair swept around the floor gracefully. I'm not sure about Gorka's ducks'-ass wig, but Helen was beautiful in her Sandy outfit. She was airy and flowing, had nice top line and was lovely and light on her feet. She did a beautiful, no-short-cuts fleckerl in a dance that had lots of difficult content and tricky steps. She showed good control but she needs a little work on her frame and positioning. Shirley said Helen was the most improved celeb dancer and I really hope she keeps growing in confidence. A nice 31 out of 40.
Jayde & Karen rounded off the night with a Cha Cha Cha to What A Feeling from Flashdance. I'll say it again, if you've not seen Robert Webb's version on Let's Dance for Comic Relief, check it out. I can never hear this tune without giggling as I remember it. Shame he had to leave Strictly - he could have reprised it. Never mind, Jayde was a treat herself. With bags of sass & attitude from the start, you could tell she was loving every minute. Her personality shone in a routine that was fast & full of content. Jayde showed some nice hip action, rotation and isolation - but needed more of these in the walks. Her leg was fairly straight but she got flat footed in places and had a bit of a wobble trying to get back up off the floor. All the iconic Flashdance moves were in there, including a glittery shower finish. A seven from Craig earned Jayde 29 out of 40,
That was that. All the couples had danced. There were some worthy of Strictly Oscars, others more deserving of a Golden Raspberry. But it was a good night overall and we enjoyed it. You can't say fairer than that.
All of a sudden, it was Sunday. Poor Amy having to get dyed green again! I know, you know, they know, they know you & I know. And still they pretend. A bit like you do with your kid and Father Christmas. What? You've never told your children Santa is watching them via the alarm sensors / Ring doorbell / street lights? Yeah you have.
So, Sunday.
The pro dance started my night off nicely. Vito on a spinny thing - my idea of a Lazy Susan, according to HOTH - in leather, looking mean, moody & broody in an Elvis medley. There might have been some other dancers on the floor as well, but I didn't see them. Which reminds me - speaking of Italy, on my trip to Rome I saw what looked like a Hot Priests calendar. And there's me thinking that was only a thing in Father Ted.
FLEUR! Oh, now come on! That was just bloody ridiculous. Maybe people thought others would be voting for her so wasted gave their vote to another (duffer) celebrity. But, seriously, how many votes must Tony have got to pull him above her in the rankings? I might have to make a Freedom of Information request to The Beeb. Or I could just get over it and move on, I suppose. I'm Not Happy though. Imagine no more Vito. Poor Fleur was visibly shocked and upset.
Up in the Clauditorium there were Words about the outcome. Will was in the unhappy bunny camp - he actually seemed angry about it. Matt was...Matt, Jayde was moved and Helen has a bottle of milk with her name and face. James Gunn - director of Guardians of the Galaxy Tweeted that he was thinking about James Bye's scene in Volume 3 (he is known for his sense of humour) and Boy George Tweeted he loved Tony,
This week's Star Singer was Adam Lambert. I do wish they would get people who can sing! I'm kidding, he's fab. I mean, he sings with Queen - the band, not the sadly departed monarch. Although I bet she loved karaoke after the Christmas speech. Probably duetted with Philip on Real Dead Ringer For Love. Carlos and Nikita did a boys only Argentine Tango. Adam did a very good, pared back version of Mad About The Boy that was almost Bond-esque in performance. The dude needs to get the next feem toon gig.
The judges nattered about the dances, why Motsi loves the Charley-stone, Shirl was still stunned by Tony, Anton demonstrated a Cuban break - which isn't a holiday in Havana, apparently, and Craig praised Will's acting. We were shown the sheer numbers and skill of the set dressers who have just the space of time between the post-dance chat with Claudia and the next couple's VT to get everything in place for the next one.
Round Two of Jittery Jeopardy and Tess stretching it out like Mr Tickle getting the Christmas Tree out of his loft without a ladder. The rise and fall of a dozen empires later we finally learned that the second pair in the dance off was...
RICHIE! What the what, people? Yes, I know he wasn't getting nines or owt yet but the bloke can actually dance! Poor Richie falling foul of the double whammy of being hampered by a stupid costume and the viewers reverting to the 'Oooh, Tony was funny. I'll vote for him even though he was rubbish and a dead squirrel could do better' trope. Richie put on a brave face but looked resigned.
Clauditorium part two saw Tyler still agog at his tens, Kym has a cardboard cut out of Graz on her house, Ellie S has been enjoying packed lunches made by her boyfriend, Hamza has one fingernail painted for his god daughter, Ellie T was very grateful for votes and Molly & Carlos sang. Well, Molly did. Carlos scared the cat.
And so to the dance off. Sadly, I think this week's decision was a no-brainer. Richie tried valiantly to keep his place and danced his little heart out. But it probably came as no surprise that he was eliminated by three of the judges. Fleur put just that little bit extra in and it was a done deal. Shirley said she would have saved Richie - but that's probably because she doesn't like Fleur. Gutted doesn't cover it and poor Richie was utterly crestfallen, Gio looked unsurprised. There were massive hugs all round and a 'lovely jubbly' from Gio. Some people should have a long, hard look at themselves in the mirror tomorrow. You know who you are.
And so the curtain came down on Movie Week. From all the glitz and glamour to the terrible and the train wrecks. We saw it all. Now it's time to sweep up the popcorn and pick the chewing gum out of the carpet. See you in a couple of weeks my cha cha cha chums. Until then...
KEEP DANCING!
Richie man, poor man!
Booted too soon. SNAFU'd by the Arsenal offside trap.
Booted too soon. SNAFU'd by the Arsenal offside trap.
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