Hello again, Strictly peeps. I hope you're all safe and well in the teeth of Storm Arwen? It's properly blawin' a hoolie, isn't it? No snow near me on Saturday, thank goodness. Can't stand the flipping stuff. Looks pretty for five minutes then quickly deteriorates into a soggy, miserable mess. A bit like me on a night out on the Long Island Iced Teas. Of which we will speak no more.
I'm just glad our boiler is fixed. It was bad enough on Wednesday - I was sitting on the couch wrapped in a Sherpa fleece, two blankets, one of the cats and a blow heater. And I was still cold. If it had have gone on the blink this weekend I'd have just taken to my bed with every duvet we own and hibernated, ringing a little bell every now & again for HOTH to bring me hot Vimto and soup. Brrrr. 'Do you want to build a snowman?' No, bugger off you weirdo!
Oh, yes! You know what I was saying about Cynthia Erivo can come again? Well, she has! Now it's Motsi who's having to isolate after coming into close contact with Covid 19 and Cynthia is sitting in for her. Craig last week, Motsi this week. Is Cynthia working her way down the panel? If I were Shirl I'd be dousing meself in Dettol, just in case. One can't be too careful about these things.
And so to Saturday. Our high-stepping half dozen are inching ever closer to the final and in sight of the prize. Albeit at this stage they'd have to use a pair of high power binoculars, mind. There's going to be fewer and fewer places to hide the errors and missteps, and Craig will be pouncing on every single one without mercy. Pasos will need to be polished, tangos tightened and rumbas robustly rehearsed if the dancers want a chance of being in the final. Which, of course, they all do. That's the point of Strictly, isn't it? At least the ones who are left.
No theme this week - I think we're done with those - and so it's back to normal (as normal as you can get with triple-layer spray tans, sequins & Spandex anyway) with the tunes, costumes, hair & makeup. So, what went on? Well...I feel so unsure, as I take your hand and lead you to the dancefloor......come on then, what are you waiting for?
Rose & Giovanni kicked off proceedings with a Paso Doble to California Dreamin' - the version by Sia. Ironic that she's called Sia (Alanis Morrisette take note) when she can't 'see ya' with her barnet.
Dan & Nadiya were up next with a Rumba to Desperado by The Eagles. Which wasn't as desperado as I'd feared. Yes, I'm a Rumba Refusenik. It's not my favourite dance. It probably comes after The Birdie Song and I Am The Music Man in my order of preference. Just under the Cha Cha Slide. The music suited the dance, though. Just not very sexy or romantic. Which is maybe a good thing since Dan isn't a sexy man. Well, I mean, not like brooding, sensuous sexy like Gio or Danny Mac for instance. His wife obviously adores him. It wasn't a bad stab at a rumba, although the routine was a little safe and low on content. Dan's long limbs made him seem graceful, finishing his lines beautifully, to the very tips of his fingers. Nadiya did most of the work as Dan plodded about at times, a little stiff with no hip action to speak of. Well, Shirley said it was 'there but subtle'. Subtle? I'll say. The bloody Hubble telescope wouldn't have been able to see it. It sounds weird, but he smiled too much. The rumba isn't a smiley dance. He looked at Nadiya like a dad dancing with his daughter at Nana's 80th birthday party at The Con Club, putting a further kibosh on any air of sensuality or romance. The pair split the judges - grumpy Craig going low and Cynthia unfathomably scoring a NINE (she must have been watching a different dance). The couple scored 31 out of 40 for the second week running.
Rhys & Nancy brought us a Waltz to You Light Up My Life by Whitney Houston. My word, I think Rhys had finally got the memo! It's only taken him ten weeks. He was much more contained and controlled in this dance than any of his previous showings. His frame was good and there was lots of lovely rise and fall. He actually connected with Nancy, which made the dance seem more romantic and emotional. There was a nice fleckerl and Rhys flowed across the floor, rather than the usual jolty, jerky action we've seen from him before. It wasn't perfect - he didn't close his feet properly and seemed to lose the lead at times. There was a lack of drive through the feet and his bum stuck out too much. He completed all his lines, though, and he had good shaping. Rhys burst into tears at the end - I didn't think it was that bad, love. Ah, no. He was just really overwhelmed and it sounded like he'd had a tough week of it, too. You'll get no snark from me for a bloke showing his emotions. More of it, I say. When he got to the Clauditorium and was shown a video from his grandparents in The Cayman Islands, the poor lad was a snotty, sobbing mess. Another split in the judging, with Craig being a bit disappointed and Shirley massively over-scoring with a 10. 35 out of 40 scored.
Tilly & Nikita took to the floor with a Samba to Levitating by Dua Lipa. I'm never sure if that's her name or an instruction. And just what is a Sugar Boo? A sweet ghost? This wasn't Tilly's best dance, I'm afraid. She started off well, giving it shimmy, welly and bounce, confidently starting alone. She had some attack and her voltas were pretty good but something was just a bit off. Well, her timing for one thing, but the overall feel of the dance wasn't quite the party it's meant to be. Tilly's hip action and rotation were lacking and she made a few footwork errors. The content and steps were difficult, mind, and I wondered if Nikita had bitten off more than Tilly could chew. The energy was missing and she seemed to run out of stamina towards the end (I'd have run out of energy 10 seconds in). Her arms were a bit messy and flingy, lines were not quite finished and she had choppy feet. Dad Gordon was in tears again at the end. I hope it was pride rather than his comment on the dance. The judges weren't terribly impressed either with Tilly & Nikita getting just 30 out of 40.
John & Johannes ended the night with an Argentine Tango to The 5th by David Garrett - which is basically a funked up (I said FUNKED up. Honestly, you people) Beethoven's Fifth on a violin. I looked him up on that there YouTube (David Garrett, not Beethoven). How does he not get all his long hair tangled in the violin strings? He looks like a washed Kurt Cobain, too.
Oh. My. Goodness. This dance! I had to watch it all over again on Sunday morning just to make sure I hadn't dreamed it. What a performance - and he had definitely upped his game. It was hot, steamy, passionate, dare I say erotic? Well, I just did so nerr. John was powerful, masterful and in charge, lifting Johannes with ease. The dance was packed with content and he coped magnificently with it all - from solo ganchos, to cadenas, ochos, cuatros and chasses. There were reverse lunges, open turns and a few gloriously controlled rond de jambe par terre, with John describing a semi-circle on the floor with pointed toes. No, I totally didn't Google those terms. Nu-uh, not me M'lord. This dance was dynamic, intense, and fierce. The chemistry was charged and had more than a hint of danger. Any hotter and they'd have had to call the fire brigade. Honestly, for a pre-watershed dance it had me reaching for the fan. Asombroso. A near perfect 39 out of 40. Boo, Craig. Boo.
Then, as if by magic, it was all over for another night. The panel's points meant that the leader board looked like:
John & Johannes - 39
AJ & Kai - 36
Rhys & Nancy - 35
Rose & Giovanni - 33
Dan & Nadiya - 31
Tilly & Nikita - 30
Rose & Giovanni
The voting lines opened and it was down to the public (a lot of whom should be supervised when casting their votes, in my opinion) to decide who would be dumped this week.
Sunday dawned bright and cold, later deciding to snow. Oh, great <sarcastic voice>. You know my feeling on the stuff. It's freezing cold, gets you soaking and it's slippy. And don't get me started on snowmen. They're always disappointing.
The expectation The Reality
We kicked off with a Pro dance to a medley of 'The Model' by Kraftwerk and 'Don't Go' by Yazoo. Very...futuristic. Let's just say I know why there was no tin foil in Asda a while back. Some funky CGI cyber dudes joined in for a bit. All Barbarella meets Bacofoil.
There was a brief recap of the dances, then Dawdling Daly did her dilatory duty in trying to make the announcements as slow as possible. If it were an Olympic event she'd be a shoo-in for gold. Hell, they'd have to make a Rhodium medal (most expensive precious metal on the planet - remember that for the next pub quiz) just for her. Many bumbedy-bums of 'tense' music later, we finally learned that the first dancer in the danger zone was
RHYS. Again. They must be keeping him a seat warm in the Danger Zone. How many times is this now? At least three, by my count, I reckon. Although Jamelia holds the record by being in the bottom two a whopping FIVE times before she got the boot. I read earlier that Rhys really struggled to get to grips with the slower and more restrained waltz than his previous hyper dances. He's also been subject to a lot of self-doubt about his skills and popularity with the adult viewers. So finding he was in the bottom two again must have been crushing.
Up to the Clauditorium, Dan - who probably couldn't believe his luck - said 'sounds a bit ridiculous' when Claudia said he was a Quarter Finalist. You're not kidding, mate. It's what most of us are thinking.
John & Johannes gave a huge thank you to the people who had choreographed the routine for them, which is always lovely. John told us he thanks his costume as well, but tells it that it belongs to Strictly, to keep him grounded. Whatever floats your boat, sweetheart.
Years and Years (no I'm not describing Tess' bit) voiced by the terrific Olly Alexander brought the night's vocal entertainment with Sweet Talker. Interesting choice of outfit that made him look a bit like a Rubik's Snake from the 1980s.
I'll say it again. Watch. It's. A. Sin. A really most incredible series packed to the gills with fantastic performances from the cast, not least young Mr Alexander as Ritchie. I might watch it again myself. I'll keep the tissues handy this time.
We had the usual chat with the judges - I wasn't paying much attention to this, if I'm honest. I was too busy putting the treacle tart in the oven and thinking about pouring myself a small 'lemonade'. They don't really say much more than they do after the dances so I make myself Useful until they've finished gabbing.
You know what Tess is like by now, so I won't labour the point. Book it took her a good 63 seconds to tell us that the second celebrity in the dance off was...
TILLY. Ah, the poor lass. Another third-timer in the bottom two. From leader board laureate last week, to languishing on low scores from the judges and lack of love from the viewers. But, to be fair, she didn't have a great night on Saturday and we're getting to the point in the competition where everyone who goes home will be good. At least, this year. We all know in the past that some HOW ARE THEY STILL HERE celebs have been sniffing around near the end of their series. She probably expected it, to be honest.
And so to the dance off itself. Rhys had a good showing, not letting the nerves and disappointment get to him. Mind you, he's had a lot of Dance Off practice. His footwork was a bit better and the errors smoothed over - his bum still stuck out a mile, though.
Tilly had been advised by Craig to add more sass. She tried, bless her, but it looked like she was still self conscious about it. Nikita whipped his shirt off - desperate for a vote maybe - which promptly tangled in his mic cable and hung off him like a floral familiar. Not a good look. Tilly had tightened up some of the mistakes and had improved as well, so would the panel have difficulty deciding?
The judges deliberated, cogitated and digested. And then they decided who was going home, as well. But not for very long (Ooooh get me starting two sentences with a conjunction! Rebel without a clause, me.) as they unanimously voted that the dancer who wouldn't be making it to the quarter finals was
TILLY
She did very well to get to this stage of the competition and was better than a lot of people thought she would be. Probably better than SHE thought she would be, I reckon. She's a bloody sight better than Dan Walker is for a start. He's got to be on borrowed time, surely? I mean, look at who's left! If he's saved again over someone like AJ, John or Rose next there's something rotten in the state of Strictly. But, I have no say, do I? It's those dang viewers keeping him in. I might need to have Words.
And there we were for another week. Six becomes five and it's Quarter Finals time next Saturday. Things are starting to get Serious and it's even closer to Christmas. So, see you then, dance fans - and remember......
KEEP DANCING
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