Well hello again, dance fans. How are we all? Sorry for the radio silence but there's been a lot of Stuff (with a capital S) going on over the last few weeks. First Katherine Ryan (hilarious), HOTH* & I's wedding anniversary (mucky weekend away in stunning Barmouth at the amazing Lawrenny Lodge) and our son's 16th birthday (The Ivy - we spoil that kid, we do). Other grown-up life things as well, which I won't go into detail about here - suffice to say it has been a bit head-pecky and a bit of a bother). Hopefully, things are on the upturn as we hurtle downhill to Christmas like the Jamaican bobsled team in Cool Runnings, only without John Candy and an egg. If you've seen it, you'll know what I'm on about.
Without my weekly blog outlet, HOTH has got rather fed up of me blurting out which dance I think would go with which song on the radio. Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand? Tango. Sign Your Name by Terence Trent D'arby (as he was known back then)? Rumba. I must admit I did struggle a wee bit with Mr Blobby - but that's what Couples' Choice is for, right?
So, I've finally caught up on Strictly and we are now sans:
Luvvie Greg 'Mr Emma Thompson' Wise
Jolly Loose Woman Judi Love
Rugby rogue Ugo Monye
Peachy Adam Peaty
From what I saw, most of these were the right viewer choice, but some of the - shall we say less talented ones - are still in. See - popularity vote. You could tromp around the floor like the drunken back end of a pantomime horse and still stay in if the folks at home like you enough. And we've all seen that in action, haven't we?
John Sergeant - is that you & Ann Widdecombe in there?
And now I'm up to speed, shall we crack on with this week's show? Why not. Put down your drink of choice, lace up your dancing shoes and let's hit the dancefloor.
Our Grateful Eight all have their sights set on next Saturday's Musical Week - no Blackpool again this year (booo) - and want to stay in to find out which tired old hackneyed rehash of a previous year song and dance they're going to get lumbered with. If John & Johannes aren't dancing to something from Everybody's Taking About Jamie I'm taking my knitting and going home. And I don't even knit. So it was all to play for, theirs to lose and other mixed metaphors.
Straight into the swing of things, Tess came out looking like a Bury Black Pudding & Claud seemed to have hoofed it from the school run. Motsi didn't get the memo that it wasn't Fancy Dress Week an opted to come as a yellow highlighter pen.
Full markers for effort, Motsi
Tilly & Nikita opened the show with a Quickstep to I Won't Dance by Damita Jo. Won't dance? I thought that was the point of the whole show? Inexplicably in the dance off last week, the pair hoped to put that behind them with another high energy routine. And they did - kind of. Starting with some Charleston steps & moves that were fun and novel (for a Quickstep), Tilly danced with more confidence this week. Maybe it was the birthday surprise she had had in training, or her dad Gordon in the audience chewing gum, she seemed to have more energy and sparkle. There was some good characterisation and she was fairly light on her feet at the start, covering the floor and chucking in reverse promenades for good measure. Unfortunately, there were a couple of missed steps and trips and she got out of sync with Nikita on more than one occasion. Her footwork got sloppy as her stamina waned (it'd be more than my feet that would get sloppy if I tried a Quickstep) and her frame wobbled, not being quite far left enough for Anton. Not a bad score of 29 out of 40 from the judges, including an 8 from Anton.
AJ & Kai followed with a paso to Game of Survival by Ruelle. Just a quick note. I flipping love AJ's mum. She's an utter star in her own right, scoffing pizza while watching her daughter and remaining fairly unimpressed. The lady's a legend. So. AJ & Kai. After their spectacular Charleston last week - which was absolutely one of the best of all time - the pair had a lot to live up to. Maybe it was nerves, maybe last week's score, who knows, but the dance felt, and looked, really...flat. There was some flamenco armography, but not nearly enough and the classic Spanish lines were missing. We did get some impressive bits - a perfectly timed death drop, and Kai flinging AJ around like HOTH putting me to bed after a few 'lemonades' - but there wasn't quite the drive, attack, intent & passion I'd been expecting. AJ seemed tense, meaning her frame was too stiff and she looked like she was resisting Kai rather than being led by him. She coped well with the changes of pace, the chasses and skirt swishing, but I was a bit disappointed. The frock didn't help either. Poor AJ looked like she was wearing a glittery merkin, as well as tripping up on the bloody thing. A leader board tumbling 28 out of 40 scored.
Stop merkin about & get on with it, AJ!
This week Dan was back in ballroom, complete with tails and a cane, trying to recreate the Hollywood era. With his long limbs, Dan is better suited to the ballroom dances and it gives him some elegance. This was the dance that split the judges and almost caused a kick off between Craig and Motsi - my money would be on Ms Mabuse. There was a bit of faffin' abaht on the stage bit, as Len used to say, and some nice Fosse bits. Dan was soft through the knees - which I'm assured is a good thing - and his frame was quite decent. His footwork was nice & clean, he coped with some tricky steps and the lifts weren't bad on the whole, considering he had to get Nadiya a long way up. Dan gave a bit of a weird Jerry Maguire Mission Statement speech at the end, having a dig at the ringers, which was unnecessary. With the scoring, Craig said there wasn't enough swing & sway for him (personally, I agree) and he gave a measly 4. The lady judges disagreed, both awarding 8 and Anton went completely bonkers and gave the couple a 9 leaving himself nowhere to go when the obviously much better dancers were to follow. 29 out of 40 scored altogether.
Dragons' Den Doyenne Sara Look at moy, Craig!
Rhys & Nancy came out with a Charleston to The Charleston. Bet they struggled to come up with that song title. At last - a dance made for Rhys' boundless overenthusiastic and uncontrolled energy and wildly flailing arms. No tricky frame to maintain either. The McFly song over the VT probably gave Tom another 20p in royalties as well.
How can you overdance a Charleston? Ask Rhys. Look, it was a good dance, it really was. Everything including the kitchen sink, in fact - pot stirrers, birdy flaps, duck walks, knee crosses, heel clicks, the works. It was exhausting to watch. Massive moves and, again, no light & shade. Just wound up & let go like a crazy clockwork toy. I know the Charleston is supposed to be madcap, but this was all one level of nuts. Rhys did have fabulous energy and a silly, goofy, fun expression on his face and carried off the choreography well. His swivels were spot on but, as previous weeks, he never seemed to be dancing with Nancy until the lifts. Motsi said it was the best Charleston she'd ever seen, so I assume she had a memory wipe after AJ's last week which, in my opinion, was far superior. It got an A-MA-ZING from Craig as well - and the season's first Full House of 40. Guess Craig didn't spot the slip and the clumsy lift, then? Harrumph.
Sara & Aljaz - Argentine Tango to No More Tears (Enough is Enough) by Donna Summer & Barbara Streisand. Let's hope the wardrobe department are kinder to Sara this week. Her 'Dolly Parton' looked more like Kath from Kath & Kim after letting her perm grow out a bit.
Dragons' Den Doyenne Sara Look at moy, Craig!
This one was a bit...odd. First, there was more smoke than a Victorian opium den at the start. And a giant glitterball on a string, which didn't seem to add anything more than showing what the props team can do. Sara had a good go at the AT. There was some decent drive, attack and intent and her character was believable. She kept her frame well in the lifts and didn't let her shoulders drop, which can be a reflex reaction to being hoiked off your feet. The chemistry was good and Sara's footwork was clean, but the dance was a bit ploddy in places and wasn't quite fiery enough. Her ganchos were loose (stop it!) and her legs a bit too stiff to give the routine the flow it needed. The judges gave the pair 32 out of 40, leaving me wondering what had been slipped into Anton's cocoa.
John & Johannes sashayed to the stage with a Samba to Acuyuye by Latin artist DLG. No I had no idea what it was either until they got going. This was a really atmospheric dance which totally brought the party atmosphere to the night. I half wanted to get up and join in, but HOTH would have frowned at red wine all over the rug and my back was giving me gip, anyway. John looked like he was having the time of his life with all the shimmies, booty shakes and under the groin limbo action going on - practically every samba step ever danced. He had plenty of bounce and hip action, the samba rolls were good - not quite the sausage-in-the-bun style the mixed couples do, but decent enough. There was some tricky choreography, changes of direction and really fast spins. John had good lines, his weight in the right place to make the moves look smooth. The pair were, as we have come to expect, in sync throughout the dance - although Johannes' fluidity made John seem a little stiff in places, and his shoulders were a wee bit too far back. The judges were impressed - Motsi & Shirl dancing in the aisles - and awarded 38 out of 40. Anton somehow thinking it was the same 'quality' as Dan's outing 😒.
Tom & Amy were our penultimate couple with a Viennese Waltz to Iris by Goo Goo Dolls. Look, I love this song. I truly do. But it's been done so many times now. Change it up a bit, Strictly Bosses. You could use Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, Never Tear Us Apart by INXS or Crazy by Aerosmith if you want to be a bit more contemporary. Heck, even Piano Man by Billy Joel would be a bit fresher. Enough ranting. This was a more 'modern' take on a Viennese - Tom just in shirt, trousers and tie, Amy in more of a La La Land style dress than the floor length ballroom gown we usually see. It wasn't a bad dance by any means but, like AJ, seemed to compare badly to last week. A bit...safe, really. It flowed quite well, the spins were controlled and there was no errant rise and fall. There was a really good fleckerl and Tom's frame continued to improve. However, his free arm still had a mind of its own and transitions in and out of hold looked a bit 'snatchy' and hurried. The footwork wasn't as clean as it could have been, his feet not closing as well has they might and there were a couple of mistakes. 30 out of 40 scored - which is Tom's highest score for ballroom, though.
Rose & Giovanni closed the night with a beautiful Couples' Choice to Symphony by Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson. This is my favourite couple. Rose is so enthusiastic and her obvious joy at dancing shines from the screen. Gio has grown so much as a teacher, learning from Rose and having to rethink the way he teaches. This is a fab pairing and you can tell they're loving every second so far. Long may they continue. I don't normally like barefoot contempowaft, but this was a stunning routine for me. It was light, lyrical, stripped back and smooth. There were changes of pace, rhythm and style which were a delight to watch. The pair were in sync whatever they were doing and the connection and chemistry shone through the screen. And then, halfway through, the music and mics were muted. We could experience, in some small way, what Rose does every day and especially in the training room and on the dancefloor. It was powerful & moving without feeling mawkish, or like a gimmick. Truly special. At the end Gio was clearly heard to tell Rose 'I love you'. Craig was very picky, saying it lacked energy through the floor for him (whatever that means) but a very worthy 39 out of 40 scored. Rose thanked Gio in the Clauditorium, reducing him to tears. And I joined him.
And so all the couples had danced. There were a few scoring surprises, changes in dance floor domination and jostling of leader board positions. Given the way voting has been going over the last few weeks, the 'official' bottom two will be hard to call. As it stood on Saturday -
Rhys was top of the crop
AJ was propping up the pairs
Which could all still change, of course.
And so we sauntered into Sham Sunday - not to be confused with punk band Sham 69. Mind you, they did some cracking songs you could shoehorn into Strictly. Jive to Hurry Up Harry, Charleston to Hersham Boys, Paso to Questions & Answers. Wait, I'm doing it again, aren't I? Right, as we were.
As it was Remembrance Sunday there was a suitably poignant and moving Pro Dance to You'll Never Walk Alone to open the show, which ended with a field of virtual poppies.
Once the applause was over and the judges' bums were on their seats Glacier Gob Tess started announcing the couples who had dodged the bullet. You'd think with fewer dancers this bit would go quicker, wouldn't you? Ha! More fool you. Tess has time to fill before Top Gear and boy, does she make sure every second is accounted for. Several aeons passed, civilisations rose and fell until it was announced SARA was announced as the first dancer-offerer. In my opinion, she had kinda dodged the metaphorical bullet for a couple of weeks - last week, especially. Would tonight be the end of the (Scotswood) road for our Geordie Gyrator? We shall see.
A quick canter to the Clauditorium and the Chatterpillar. Rose & Gio spreading their joy, love and positivity, saying anyone can dance. They've not seen me, have they? And also forgot about Hairy Bike Dave, Greg Wise and Gregggggg Wallace, haven't they?
Rhys went predictably wild and annoyingly overexcited when he heard what he's dancing next week. I've seen four-year-olds with more self control. I'm sure he's a lovely lad and it's me being a menopausal, grumpy harridan. But, then again...
Dan was.....Dan. Saying how he danced at a family wedding and everyone was watching, his 'journey', how he's doing it for all the men who can't dance. Whatever.
James Blunt (apparently not rhyming slang) popped up with his new tune. You can say what you like about Blunty - the guy is FUNNY on social media. Many a nay-sayer and troll has limped away with severe burns after trying to take him on via social media. Do these people never learn? Anyway, he performed a nice, stripped back of his hit Goodbye My Love which, for me, is one of his better tunes.
There was VT of the team's visit to the Defence Medical Rehabilitation Centre to meet service personnel who had been injured in the line of duty and showcase the brilliant work the Centre does to help them.
Time for the Judges' recap and Anton explained he'd marked Dan on the improvement he'd made from week one and not necessarily on the dance on the night. Which isn't the point of the scoring, if you ask me. Otherwise they'd have to start carving 11, 12, 15, 20, 50 paddles in the future. Score What You See, Anton. I'm watching you.
More from Torturous Tess - honestly, she could be used in Special Forces training in their Learning To Be Patient section. I don't know if that's actually a thing, but they do spend hours waiting around in the dark covered in camouflage and I doubt they play I-Spy to pass the time. Probably more 'There Spy. Shooty, shooty bang bang'.
Anyway - several Ice Ages and the extinction of a sun or two later - TILLY was in the dance off dance off, again. The poor girl must feel so unpopular. I hope it's because the viewers all think she'll get lots of votes from others so don't give her theirs, rather than her being 'punished' for who her dad is. That wouldn't be at all fair. She always comes across and lovely and sweet so it's disheartening for her to be in the dance off when there's others far less capable and watchable (cough, Dan, cough).
Back to Claudia where Amy still had some voice left after screaming so loud when they were announced safe that flocks of flamingos in Africa must have taken off in fright, a la the opening credits of Tarzan in the 80s.
John & Johannes were thrilled to be safe. So John's sister will be. She's apparently getting the local butcher's sausage at a discount. Not something all of us can say.
AJ was still chipper and cheerful, relieved she'd avoided the dreaded dance off. She felt she'd let Kai down, but she shouldn't be so hard on herself. Everyone has an off week - this was hers.
To the Dance Off. Tilly danced first, as she'd been on earlier than Sara on the night. It was definitely more polished and tightened up, with fewer errors and more energy. Sara also came out stronger. There were still some wobbles but overall an improvement on her first outing.
No more could be done. It was down to Craig and Co. It was a pretty difficult decision for the judges, but the dancer unanimously voted to be going home was....
SARA
She undoubtedly had a great time on her 'journey' across the dancefloor - and a fun, friendly partnership with Aljaz, who will probably still be sticking a 'Howay' into conversations for years to come. But, it was probably the right time for Sara to hang up her dancing shoes and get back to the Dragons' Den. Those entrepreneurs need her. Especially the delusional ones flogging slippers for horses or clip on downhill skis for your granny's Zimmer frame (I'm IN!).
And there we were. Our Magnificent Seven waltz, samba and paso in to Musicals Week. And, frankly, if nobody dances to the theme from the film of the same name, they'll have missed a HUGE trick. I'll give up my job and move to Elstree as New MD - or at least music suggesterer. I was made for that job. If nothing else, it'd stop me randomly shouting 'Samba', 'Rumba', 'American Smooth' at the wireless, for which HOTH would be eternally grateful.
Until next week.......
KEEP DANCING!!!
SARA'S STRICTLY JOURNEY WON'T DRAG-ON
*HUSBAND OF THE HOUSE
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