Let's Get A Semi On

We're almost there, we're almost there

People down here think we're crazy

But we don't care

Trials & tribulations, we've had our share

There ain't nothing gonna stop us now

'Cause we're almost there

I am, of course, paraphrasing the song 'Almost There' from The Princess and The Frog. And yes, it did physically hurt to type a double negative. But, I suffer for my art to bring you, dear readers, the penultimate Strictly blog of 2021. We are almost there. This time next week, we'll have watched the winner lift the glitterball aloft, amidst forty million metric tons of confetti & streamers. Environment, schmenvironment! This is DANCING!

Weeks of waltzes, copious Couple's Choices, loads of Latin and bags of ballroom bring us <this> close to the end. One couple is going to fall short of the finale, disappointingly so close to glory, only to have it snatched away by a lumbering lift or faulty footwork. This is the last week the judges' scores will count towards the results, too. Next week they'll be 'for guidance only' and won't be used to calculate the dance off. Mind you, I think most viewers use them for guidance, given the shonky paddle waving that's been going on and massive overmarking by some judges (cough, Shirley, cough) for some DANcers. Chinny reckon, says I. Chinny. Reckon.

Anyhoo. Semi Final. Double Dance Delight this week. Well, they've got to stretch the night out somehow. Four ninety second long dances, even with the judging & chatter, would only last about ten minutes and we can't be having that on prime-time Beeb now, can we? With EIGHTY minutes to fill, just what did happen? Come, join me on the dance floor as I take you on a journey back in time...

No opening pro dance this week. I expect they wanted us to focus on the contestants. Instead we had a moody VT from the celebs talking about their 'journeys' and 'intentions'. We know, we know. Get on with it, already. Tess & Claudia appeared, and it struck me that whatever Tess is wearing, it never has any sleeves. Is she allergic to them? Sleeve-a-phobic? Sponsored by Arms R Us? Baffling. Anyway, we were informed that this season had already had FORTY tens awarded to the  couples, with two shows left to go. Pretty impressive, if you ask me. This week the judges' scores for both dances would be combined, meaning the final points would be out of a possible 80. Would anyone get a Double Full House?

Rhys & Nancy opened the evening with a Tango to One Vision by Queen. We had the usual pre-dance video, this time with good luck messages from his supporters on the streets. I'd have preferred a video from Hacker T Dog (Rhys' CBBC sidekick). I met him once - Hacker, that is - and it's up there with my wedding and birth of SOTH as a Best Day Ever.

Alright, me cockers - Wigan Wonder Woofer Hacker T Dog

Apparently, Rhys has been pushing for this song / dance combo since he signed up for the show. It was a bit...odd, to be honest. Rhys started off dancing on his own (story of my life) with a confident air. It did look like he was going to be wild and out of control again, but once he got into hold he calmed down a bit. I think Nancy probably hissed a threat at him. His movements were sharp and crisp, good staccato head turns and his legs were nice and soft through the steps. He had plenty of attack, drive and intent and there was some decent drama to the routine. The timing overall was good and the promenades, chasses & grapevines were all nicely in sync. Rhys' frame was solid in hold and his shaping was better. His bum still stuck out a mile, though - you could have balanced a tea tray on it at times - and the transitions in and out of hold were clunky and a bit messy. Anton said that he preferred Rhys in hold for this dance and I agree. On his own he went a bit iffy in places, but he did cover the floor well, there was no rise and fall and he connected with Nancy in a way that meant he properly led the dance. Would it be too little, too late? 36 out of 40 for Dance One. 

Rhys in 'dress' rehearsal (sorry)

AJ & Kai were up next with a Quickstep to Sing, Sing, Sing by Benny Goodman. Oh my word, but the girl was back on form. Looking absolutely stunning in a white, vintage style Fred & Ginger dress, AJ was mesmerising. This was full a on Fosse, Hollywood glitz & glamour Quickstep. A dance packed to the gills with flair, style, spins & turns. A really tricky routine, too - Kai hadn't held back on content, the couple starting as they meant to go on. My goodness. It was fleet, skippy, clippy, sharp, slick, polished. I'm running out of superlatives. AJ's frame and posture were magnificent as she tore across the floor, giving it 100%. She was graceful and assured, even dancing backwards at a million miles an hour. Her feet were terrific and the changes of pace, direction and flow didn't faze her one bit. A big, beaming smile on her face from start to finish showed she was having a terrific time. She and Kai were totally in sync throughout - one of their strengths as a couple this year - and it was a very entertaining dance. The judges agreed, with Anton saying it was worthy of Blackpool, Shirley in awe and Craig exclaiming 'OMG. Incredible'. And yes, a full house and well deserved 40 out of 40 was awarded.

Frockin' hell - what a dance!

John & Johannes followed this with their Couple's Choice to Hometown Glory by Adele. John told us the dance was an allegory to how he & Johannes felt when they were growing up as gay boys in Wigan and Johannesburg, respectively. Bullied, derided and unaccepted, John had the better deal thanks to his extremely strong family ties and supportive sisters. The messages of support from the public were emotional and genuine, moving the pair. The routine was a barefoot contempowaft, the costume stripped back to showcase the steps. This was beautifully choreographed, each movement powerful and meaningful. There were some terrific lifts and, for the first time, John was the star of the dance, throwing everything he had into the routine - but was still controlled and poised. There was light and shade, changes of pace and mood, moments of attack and then switches to light, tender sequences. The end - which I sadly can't find a photo of - was spectacular, John bent double, supporting Johannes (who had his legs in the flipping air) on his back, both looking like they were walking, trudging, together. An excellent number. I know some folk won't agree with me but this is my blog. 39 out of 40 from the judges.

Bloody hell, it's windy in here JoJo

Rose & Giovanni rounded off the first half with a Waltz to How Long Will I Love You by Ellie Goulding. Oh, my giddy aunt. This was simply exquisite. An inspired choice of song, given the connection between the pair, it was a light, flowing, romantic number the whole way through. Packed with content, Rose made the choreography look easy as she glided (glid?) across the floor with Gio. Her feet were beautiful - closing together smoothly and effortlessly - her framing and posture spot on, her head always in exactly the right position, despite all the changes of pace and direction. The rise and fall was completely on point, the fleckerl near perfect. The whole routine was moving (even I welled up and I didn't cry at ET), believable and utterly compelling. This has to be the strongest partnership in the history of Strictly. The panel agreed - Motsi was in tears, Shirley welling up, Anton having goosebumps. Picky Pants Craig said he'd spotted 'a bit of a sticky right foot', but still said it was one of the most amazing waltzes he had seen on Strictly. 39 out of 40 for the couple.

Miss Ayling-Ellis Rose to the occasion

The first half was over. I refreshed the glasses and HOTH opened the sticky toffee pudding popcorn. Word of warning. DO NOT BUY THIS. It's like crack! I hide to hide the bag in the end or we'd have polished off the lot before the end of the round-up and the leader board update so far.  Which, incidentally, was:

AJ & Kai - 40

John & Johannes - 39

Rose & Giovanni - 39

Rhys & Nancy - 36

And so to Part Two. This time round, we got to hear what the judges really thought of the dancers before they did their routines. And it wasn't all complimentary for Rhys (Craig spilling the T that the comments that made it air were the polite ones). The main bugbear, as if you need telling, was his wild, uncontrolled 'overenthusiasm', to put it nicely. All the judges concurred that Rhys has a hard time reigning his energy in, even for the ballroom dances, and wanted him to show some variety. Would he be able to for his last dance of the night?

Well, Rhys & Nancy returned with their Samba to It Had Better Be Tonight by Michael Buble. Or, as he's known in our house, Mickey Bubbles. You can tell it's getting near Christmas when Mr B starts appearing. It's like they only let him out this time of year.

He did start off a bit wild but, like his first dance, he caught onto himself and dialled it down a notch. Not too much, of course - this was a samba after all and you can't do a party dance with a face like a slapped kipper now, can you? This was a really decent dance for Rhys, playing to his showmanship strengths and energetic style. He had good hip rotation & isolation and his shimmies were sensational. Nancy had put pretty much every samba step into the choreography and Rhys managed them with aplomb. There were natural rolls, voltas, drop voltas, kick changes and struts. I think all that was missing was a bota foga (which is apparently not the bounty hunter from Star Wars). Blimey O'Riley. The lad gave it some proper welly. He was in sync with Nancy, his feet were clean and the changes of pace were smooth. His arms did get a bit flingy towards the end and his bounce got spiky instead of soft through the knees. There was also a Nancy-spinny bit which went clunky, but these were minor quibbles. The judges were impressed - Shirl up on her feet shaking her beads like your nana at a Chippendales gig. A very enjoyable dance which gained 39 out of 40 from the panel.

Samba-dy Stop Me!

AJ & Kai completed their night with a Rumba to Show Me Heaven by Maria McKee. Now, you know me and the rumba. The sum total of my knowledge can be written on the back of a stamp and I usually have to wait to the end to nick listen to the judges' comments. Their comments before the dance were that they loved AJ's enthusiasm and the time she put in as a complete beginner to dance, but that she did struggle with some of the Latin dances. Anton said the couple's Charleston was the best he'd ever seen, with the main comment being that AJ needed to tidy her feet up. 

Well. Crikey. If this rumba had been any steamier there'd have been an invasion of Swedish people wondering where the sauna was. Another great couple, I actually quite enjoyed this number. I even wrote that AJ had beautiful straight legs before we got to the judges. There were beautiful nuances to this dance, subtle moves and positions and it was sensual without being tacky. AJ's feet were terrific, her lines and finishing were gorgeous and she made a tricky routine seem completely effortless. She was supple, lithe - making the dance elegant and flowing - and beautifully placed to the end note. Queen of the Rumba Shirley bowed down to the pair at the end, Anton enthusing that they'd 'given it the full bifta' - which means something quite different round here, let me tell you. Just a single dropped point (guess who that was from) and 39 out of 40 was earned.

Yo ho ho and a belter of a rumba

John & Johannes completed their semi-final campaign with a Jive to Higher Power by Coldplay. Shirl & co have been pretty impressed with this pair all series long, Anton saying their paso had been the best of the series and it had been in week THREE. Their main concern was that John always seemed to be holding back and dancing a little under his capabilities. That being said, Craig admitted he never got nervous when it was John's turn to dance - high praise indeed.

Dressed in a very sparkly outfit (John saying he felt like he'd been dipped in Uhu glue and rolled through Claire's Accessories) the couple set out to impress with their last dance of the night. It was a weird choice of music. Not very 'jivey' at all, to be honest, but the routine and choreography were entertaining and it was still fairly fast. John was light on his feet, his weight well forward, meaning that the kicks & flicks were properly sharp with decent retraction - and pointed toes. There was loads of style & content - something for everyone to enjoy - and it wasn't an easy dance by any means. John definitely gave it everything he had, with loads of attack, lovely kick ball changes and well finished lines. The couple got a little out of sync at one point, which is a first for them, and the ending was a bit...sudden. A very decent effort and an A-MA-ZING from Craig meant they scored 39 out of 40.

By jive, he's got it

Rose & Giovanni closed the night with an Argentine Tango to A Evaristo Carriego by Eduardo Rovira. Rose had been in fits of giggles earlier, saying she wasn't looking forward to the closeness due to Gio's 'smelly breath'. Well, I'd take a chance, love. The judges expressed how impressed they were with Rose and her positive attitude towards everything. They agreed that she just seemed to understand music more than others, but were concerned that making mistakes left her stuck in her own head at times. Their main comment was that she needed to believe in herself. I concur - she's bloody epic!

This AT was a massive, massive contrast to the couple's earlier waltz. Goodbye Sandra Dee girl-next-door Rose, make way for takes-no-prisoners Warrior Queen. She was fierce, fiery, determined and driven throughout this routine which was chock full of content. There was so much attack and intent in this number, but it didn't overpower the choreography and steps. Rose had terrific posture, her feet and legs were beautiful and controlled. The ganchos were sharp, completed with fearless precision and the ronds de jambes were smooth, flowing and graceful. Once again, the perfect partnership shone and the couple were bang on point, in time and in sync from start to finish, in a dance that was very sexy indeed. It was such an incredible, hypnotising routine and Rose owned every single second of it. Wow. Just...wow. The judges were equally impressed - Anton pretty much making just noises (I feel sorry for Roses's interpreter), Motsi saying it was the dance of the night, the month, the series and Craig simply stating 'that dance belongs in the final'. What else could they score but 40 out of 40?

Gio, I bloody well told you not to have a tuna & onion butty!

What a brilliant end to the show. All the couples had danced their socks off (John & Johannes quite literally in their first outing) and the leader board was tighter than a gnat's chuff:

AJ & Kai - 79

Rose & Giovanni - 79

John & Johannes - 78

Rhys & Nancy - 75

As if by magic, Sunday appeared...

Craig chooses what to wear for the results show

Stuffed full of a roast beef dinner with all the trimmings and gravy that could hold its own in a fight with Chuck Norris, I settled down to watch until I had room for my raspberry roulade. The dancers' doubled up digits had been combined with the verified viewers' votes and, before long (well about 35 minutes), we would know who had fallen at the final fence and who was flying to the Final. 'ecky thump, that's a lot of alliteration...

The show opened with a pro dance set in a library, to about eight bars of It's Oh So Quiet. Then segued into some funky street dance stuff to a medley of This Is How We Do It & Boom, Shake The Room...so, yeah. Let me tell you, an Argyle jumper, beanie hat and glasses is NOT a good luck for Gorka.

A quick recap of last night, some behind the scenes bits, some carefully edited judges' comments and we were off.

Surely it wouldn't take long for the first bottom-dweller to be announced, not with only four couples left? Come on, this is Tess we're talking about! Loads of that tense music, Gio probably getting neck strain keeping us his head bops, Tess finally told us that..

JOHN was in the dance off. Now, we can't say anyone in the dance off this week was going to be a surprise. The four couples are the best of the best this year, after all. It was always going to be someone good, wasn't it? No How On Earth Did They Get There celebrities this time around. A tricky one for the judges, though.

The Chatterpillar was more of a woodlouse, being that it was only Rose & Gio. Rose said she was shaking so much from excitement her knees were knocking. There'll be so much more to look forward to from this pair, with three dances next week, including a show dance. Rose told Gio he was the best partner she'd ever had in her life and his voice was filled with emotion as he thanked her for being wonderful and for her commitment to him and her learning.

The judges provided their recaps of the night, choosing their best bits and providing some more detail of why they'd said what they said and scored what they scored - especially Craig and his nines. Did it add anything? Not really, but they have to spin the show out somehow. Mind you, Anton waffled on so long Craig tongue in cheeked thanked him for inviting him on The Anton Show. We had a very quick montage of the their best bits and that was that.

The remaining two couples were back under the spotlight, patently nervous while they waited for the verdict. In roughly the time elapsed since The Big Bang, we finally found out that...

RHYS was in the bottom again. He may have expected it - he was bottom of the leader board, but that won't have made it any less disappointing and upsetting. And this week even more so, being so close to the end. 

AJ & Kai came to the Clauditorium for their chat. AJ was full on Northern Bird as she told us how excited she was to be in the final and how much she was looking forward to learning three dances. Kai has really instilled a love of dancing in her and she's had the best time ever. And so have we, if I'm honest. It's been a cracking series.

We had a short VT of all of the semi-finalists saying how much hard work it's going to be and gazing at the glitterball like it was some kind of deity. 

The evening's musical moment should have been provided by Mabel. Sadly, not my favourite character from the cartoon Gravity Falls (look it up, trust me on this) but the talented songstress and daughter of Neneh Cherry. 

Although, now you come to mention it, there is a resemblance. However, there was no appearance and nothing was said. Curiouser and curiouser. Maybe they'd had to cut her pre-recorded slot after Anton's marathon musings?

Apparently, the bottom pair had 'chosen' to do the last dance they'd performed on Saturday. Who are they trying to kid? It would have taken them ages to get back into their first outfits, hair & make-up for filming. The poor audience and crew would have been there until the wee small hours.

So, to the dance off.

Rhys danced first and, for some unknown reason, reverted to manic, frantic energy! What was he thinking? He performed the routine well again and things did look a little smoother. Maybe the judges would like the extra party performance.

John turned his turn out up a notch, too. The kicks, flicks & retractions were sharper, he was more in sync with Johannes and he seemed a bit more relaxed.

This was the moment of truth. Who was going to join Rose & AJ in next week's Grand Final and be in with a chance of winning the whole shebang? The panel made their comments with each of them saying it was an incredibly difficult decision for them as both couples were amazing. They all wanted both couples to stay in the final, if they could. But decisions had to be made, and it came down to the tiniest details and technicalities. The panel unanimously chose to eliminate...

RHYS.

Ah, well. Someone had to go - them's the Rules after all, and there was no danger of them being bent to give us a four couple finale. There'd have been an uproar, a outcry, a gosh-darned hullabaloo if they'd have done that. Twitter would have all but exploded!

And so we have our finalists. Next week we'll see the Ballroom Battle Royale between

AJ & Kai

John & Johannes

Rose & Giovanni

Now, that one WILL be too close to call. Until then, my Strictly pals.....

KEEP DANCING!!

Rhys is in pieces because Stephenson's been given the rocket