Finally, It Has Happened To Me

 

It's Final Time

There's no need to be afraid

At Final Time

We hope the dances have light and shade

And in our world of Strictly

We can spread a smile of joy

Throw your arms around the glitterball

This Strictly time

Squeeeee! It's HERE! It's only the flippin' Strictly Final! Thirteen weeks of tangos, waltzes, rumba, cha chas, Charlestons and quicksteps have brought us to this moment. The couples have slowly been whittled away - thankfully, this year, pretty sensibly if you ask me. This has been a cracking year, one of the best series ever. Almost all of the couples have been extraordinarily talented - a few less so than others, but no Ann Widdecombe, John Sergeant or Dave 'Hairy Biker' Myers. The less said of which, the better.

Claudia Winkleman's Radio 2 show this morning was a Strictly Special, talking to ousted celebrities, the finalists and the judges. During which we were subjected treated to It's Christmas, Merry Christmas by our very own Craig Revel Horwood and Rietta Austin. You know I usually tell you to check things out? Yeah, well, listen to this at your own peril. You have been warned.

First order of business, though. This week we heard the devastating news that AJ & KAI ARE OUT OF THE FINAL!! It's so, so sad. Poor AJ tore a ligament in her right ankle, after several weeks of sustained impact. She hoped against hope that it would heal in time but, sadly, she was still on crutches and a boot on Saturday. It's such a shame as she really was in with a chance to win the final. I feel so sorry for her and Kai. She might not have won the glitterball this year, but she has won many, many fans and the hearts of the Strictly viewers. She is going on the tour, though, so if you fancy selling a bodily organ and re-mortgaging your house to get a ticket, you can still see her there.

What a kick in the crutch - poor AJ falls at the final hurdle

This promises to be a cracking night. Each couple has to dance not one, not two but THREE separate dances to earn the viewer's votes - the judges' scores for guidance only. Although, by final time, they have a tendency to fling out 10s like Smarties. It's not guaranteed though. They still have to impress Craig, after all. Both couples will need to execute:

• Judges' Choice - usually one they had enjoyed from earlier in the series but had had some wobbles or improvement critique the first time round
• Couple's Favourite - the one they loved performing the most
• Show Dance - an anything goes, pull out all the stops, over-the-top, jaw-dropping spectacular to (hopefully) totally wow the judges and the audience alike

Only after all three had performed would we know who the winner was. So, join me on the couch - there's plenty of room. I've got us all some Pure Heavenly chocolate in (vegan friendly, gluten free, soy & palm oil free, less than 1% sugar and TOTALLY AMAZING TASTING)*. Pour yourself a drink from the cocktail globe, grab a cheese-and-pineapple-on-a-stick snack and let me take you on a journey...a journey into dance.

With no plans to replace AJ - say, bring back Rhys (which would be a tad unfair - sorry, Rhys) the final two couples dancing for glory were John & Johannes and Rose & Giovanni. Both very, very strong couples. Both very, very popular with the viewers - John has only been in the dance off once, last week, Rose has never been in the red spotlight. Whatever happens, whoever lifts the trophy, they will be absolutely worthy winners. Here is my early prediction...

Someone with four letters in their first name will lift the trophy!

Mystic Meg eat your heart out - there's a new medium on the scene! What do you mean 'more like an extra large'? Cheek of it!

Anyway. The night kicked off with an upbeat party style pro dance to Waiting For A Star To Fall. The professionals gave it large, Neil gurning to the camera as usual (mate, give it a rest - you're starting to look like a holiday camp wannabe). It was all very sparkly with first Johannes & Gio, then John & Rose freestyling it on giant star podiums. Everybody took to the floor, dancing en masse and getting us all in the mood for the show ahead. Of course, it ended with a giant streamer canon, much to the chagrin of the floor crew.

Well - Tess must have read my blog last week, as she came out with sleeves on her frock! I never knew I had such famous readers (yes, I am delusional. I blame it on the marathon 'write a million Christmas cards, wrap a billion presents and run round every household in HOTH's family'. I mean, it's huge. There were only 10 on my side at our wedding - and one of them was me!).

The judges came out, poor Shirl nearly going crumpet over croissant, tripping on her shimmy entrance - stop it! Motsi looking fabulous in a gorgeous red print dress, Craig suave and Anton in a brocade number. And it was time to go. The final kicked of with:

JUDGES' CHOICE

Rose & Giovanni, who have topped the leader board three times and scored the most 10s, reprised their Quickstep to Love Is An Open Door from Frozen, The Musical. This routine had scored 37 last time, so there was a teeny bit of room for improvement. Would they iron out the errors from then?

I short - did they ever!  Rose & Gio came out as they meant to go on and at least they didn't give Gio the naff centre parting he had last time. From the cute, signed opening to the end, this was cleaner, sharper, faster and more fluid. There was tons of content, changes of pace and direction, pauses for dialogue, the works. Rose's frame and posture were gorgeous, her head position perfect and her footwork was excellent. The pair flew across the floor at breakneck speed, light and airy. The hops and leaps were cleanly executed and the side-by-sections were perfectly in sync. The couple told a beautiful story while maintaining a great rhythm and looked like they enjoyed every second. So did the judges, awarding 39 out of 40 (of course Craig didn't whip out his big 10).

Gio, are you sure The Robot is a Quickstep move?

John & Johannes were up with another outing of their Rumba to Shape Of My Heart by Sting. This routine had scored 35 last time round, with the judges asking John to let himself go more, and to show some resistance in his moves. So..let go and  resist? This is why I'd never make it as a dancer - the confusing critique. That and the fact that I look like a sackful of spaniels on a bouncy castle when I dance.

This was a much better performance from John & Johannes. It was smoother, slicker, more polished. John had wonderful hip & leg movements, flowing from step to step, finishing every line and move. His eyes locked with Johannes throughout, John really let himself relax into the music. The routine was sensual and sizzling, of course, but it was also emotional, touching and romantic. There was great shaping, John's leg straight and his posture poised. The synchronicity was excellent and the timing, musicality and rhythm were spot on. The judges were suitably impressed, with Anton calling it one of the best rumbas he had ever seen - and Queen of the Rumba Shirley stating she would dance with John any time. Another 39 out of 40.

Ee, it's a Rumba do, alreet

Up next was the couples' FAVOURITE DANCE

Rose & Giovanni  had decided to repeat their Couple's Choice to Symphony by Clean Bandit featuring Zara Larsson. And I'm so glad they did. Scoring 39 last time out, this was one of the best dances of the series - especially when the music dropped and we experienced how Rose perceives the world of dance. 

This time round Rose seemed to enjoy the dance more - it seemed a little looser & freer and she had more fun. The changes of pace from the slow start to the mid-song crescendo were flawless and she showed amazing control of the music, timing and rhythm. The pair used more of the floor than last time, seeming to cover every inch and the connection between them was electric. Rose's lines were cleaner and better finished, especially when the music stopped and the pair danced in silence, totally in sync, totally connected to each other. I had goosebumps on my goosebumps and Anton was a blubbering wreck. A very well deserved full house 40 out of 40.

If you hold on I think I can just reach that last packet of Hobnobs

John & Johannes brought back their amazing Paso Doble to He's A Pirate from Pirates Of The Caribbean. Scoring 39 last time, this was already an incredible dance and probably the one which made people sit up and take notice of the unassuming nice-bloke-off-of-out-of-Bake-Off-from-Wigan. 

Shiver me timbers this was a corker. From the outset it was powerful and masterful. Packed with bags of content, from flamenco steps to jete leaps and mid air spins, John & Johannes tore up the floor. They had massively upped the ante - dancing with more passion, intent, energy, drive and attack. John's shaping and posture were great and he danced with purpose, giving it everything. He really performed as his character this time round, which lent the routine an edge of drama and danger. The pair were totally synchronised, jumps the same height, landed at the same time, arms the same shape. It really was great to watch. Anton could only make noises and Motsi & Shirley were beside themselves. Craig announced that John's little finger was bothering them - a very obvious joke as he broke into a beaming grin. Another 40 out of 40.

This isn't quite what I had in mind when you said let's get into pirate videos

Without AJ & Kai's routines, the show had more filler than a cast member of TOWIE's face. I don't think I've ever seen so many interviews. 'Gio, what have you got to say to Rose?', 'John, would you like to say to Johannes?', 'Mrs Miggins from the pie shop, do you have any words for Craig?'. There's only so many time you can say 'thank you, you're amazing, I love you, you work hard, you're my best friend'.  They should have had a couple of rounds of bingo and Open The Box to pass the time, instead. Probably have been more entertaining anyway.

And so to the last dances of the night - and of the series...

SHOW DANCE

Rose & Giovanni had chosen to dance to The Rose by Bette Midler. Gio wasn't kidding when he said we'd see the biggest prop ever used on Strictly! Their routine was inspired by Romeo & Juliet and the set builders must have worked overtime to bring us a giant balcony scene that must have been about 15-20ft tall.

This was a beautiful romantic, moving and emotional routine. It flowed so well, showcasing the incredibly strong partnership that the two have forged throughout the series. Lyrical, smooth, graceful and gliding Rose and Giovanni moved across the floor in complete harmony, seemingly lost in each other. It was lovely to watch, gentle and serene, touching and compelling. There were some great lifts, including a neck spin. But the piece de resistance was a huge overhead, arms free lift (Baby, eat your heart out), Rose dropping safely and securely into Gio's arms. Lucky girl. At the end, Gio was overcome with emotion, sobbing his heart out on Rose's shoulder. He wasn't the only one - Anton couldn't look at the couple without breaking down, Shirley was in tears and Motsi was near speechless saying Rose had made her feel like an improved person. Even Claudia was choking up in the final interview. I'm not crying, you are! Who's chopping onions at this time of night? What else could be scored than 40 out of 40?

I can see your house from up here!

John & Johannes ended their campaign dancing to You've Got The Love by Florence + The Machine. Performing under what looked like Ghosts of Dancers Past, this was a...well...a showcase of all of the styles they'd performed before, only better. There were shades of samba, touches of tango, wisps of waltzes, a soupcon of salsa and even Charleston moves. It could have been a hot mess of clashing moves - but it wasn't. Each step flowed into the next, the transitions smooth as silk, effortless and stunning. John coping with the changes of style and pace without batting a guy-linered eyelid.

There was a feel-good fun factor to the dance, which had an underlying disco / pop theme, full of content, tricky moves and tons of energy. John had great shaping and posture in each of the styles we whizzed through, his performance was through the roof and he was clearly living his best life, giving everything he had in his last Strictly dance. There was hardly a dry eye in the house when the couple had finished and it was a fantastic end to the dance section of the night. And, yes, another 40 out of 40 earned.

This is not the time to play Twister, Johannes

And that, as they say, was that. The Judges' scores had been added together for what must surely be the most useless leader board of the show and stood at:

Rose & Giovanni - 119

John & Johannes - 119

Or, if you like

John & Johannes - 119

Rose & Giovanni - 119

As if we weren't already completely overwrought, there was an interview with a heartbroken AJ & Kai. They were beyond devastated at having to pull out - and it was such a cruel way to have to leave the competition, days away from the final. They really were contenders to win and I can't even begin to imagine how they were feeling, especially as we wouldn't get to see their show dance which I'm sure would have been spectacular.

Mathematically obsessed musical maestro Ed Sheeran popped up singing Bad Habits. Apparently. We fast-forwarded through him, I'm afraid. Nothing against the bloke, we just wanted to get to the verdict.

Strictly Final wouldn't be a Strictly Final without a group dance from the rest of this year's cast. And it was no different this year. A cavalcade of celebrities - sans Tilly (Covid) and Robert (no idea) they spun, lolloped, shimmied, trotted and twerked past the camera. Was Rhys more OTT than an OTT thing on steroids? What do you think? And why the devil not?!

And so we came to the Moment Of Truth. Both couples took nervously to the floor to await the verdict. The viewers' votes had been tallied, checked and verified. This was it. The final announcement of Strictly Come Dancing 2021,

The winner of the Strictly Glitterball was.......

ROSE!!!

Well deserved winners, Gio's seventh attempt. Way to go #TEAMROGIO

What a wonderful end to a wonderful series. Everyone packs up their costumes, wipes off the make up and hangs up their shoes until next year. 

Thank you all so much for reading my mad ramblings over the past 13 weeks. I do it just for fun and to, hopefully, make people smile. It's been a blast. So, until 2022....

KEEP DANCING!!

What worthy winners. They put hours and hours of practice in, they performed their little socks off and made us fall in love with them. And the smiles on their faces when they lifted the trophy lit up not just the studio, but the whole of the country. I am so, so pleased and happy for them.

So, that's it, dance fans. Strictly 2021 is over. Well, there's a Christmas Special but if you think I'm going to be sober enough to write a report on that you're very much mistaken!

Thank you for reading my ramblings all these weeks. Have a very happy & peaceful Christmas and a wonderful New Year. See you this time 2022. Until then....

KEEP DANCING!!

STRICTLY COME DANCING 2021

THE CAST