Hello again, my Charleston Chums, Paso Pals & Foxtrot Friends. How are we all? Had a good week? October has arrived and we're at the turning of the season. Coffee shops will be flogging premium priced, pumpkin spiced lattes, the leaves will be falling from the trees - no doubt onto railway lines stopping all services - and there will be rows discussions about whether it's time to put the heating on or just grab another jumper. It will also be time to get The Big Coat out of the wardrobe and hope it still fits after lockdown.
I'm very excited because my gin box from Craft Gin Club arrived today. My highlight of the month. A full bottle of gin, mixers, cocktail ingredients, snacks, chocolate and a great magazine with lots of info & recipes in. What's not to like? Now, I want to make it absolutely clear that I'm not receiving payment in any way for the mention - either monetary or in kind, and I'm not being sponsored either. I just think it's a brilliant idea and a great company - incidentally taming the Dragons' Den (before Sara's tenure though, so there's no conflict of interest there, either) - fab value for money and, best of all, completely new gins I've never seen or tried before. I'm in Ginny Heaven. The drink, not Ms Weasley, that would be weird even for me. The refreshments sorted for the night.
It's been quite the week in Strictly Land, too. Poor Tom 'McFly' Fletcher has tested positive for Coronavirus so he & Amy will need to sit this Saturday out while they isolate. Such a shame as they had a good opening week. The McFly tour has also has to be postponed until they get the all clear so at least he's not tearing around the country singing to scores of screaming tweens & teens. Fingers crossed they won't have to bow out like Nicola & Katya last year.
This means we were down to fourteen couples this week - and one of those will be leaving on 'Sunday'. The judges' scores from last week have rolled over and will be added to this week's. Given some huge scores last Saturday - with the 9 paddle getting an early outing - there could be a massive gap between the leaders and the bottom pair. Not that that matters a jot in reality because this is the first Public Vote of this series and we all know how that can change things. (Ann Widdecombe & John Sargent, anyone?)
So, what happened? Who went home with an Achey Breaky Heart? Was there Murder On The Dancefloor, A Ballroom Blitz or a Safety Dance? Who had Moves Like Jagger (NOT Moobs Like Jabba as I misheard while daydreaming on the way to work) and who was the Dancing Queen? Let me take you on a journey, Strictly speaking.
No pro dance this week, just Tess & Claudia opening the show. Claud seemed to be wearing Tess' frock from last week, while Tess looked something like a sequined dominatrix in a high collared effort all in black. Out come the judges - cue synchronised bum plonk - and we were away.
Rhys & Nancy were the first couple out with a Cha Cha to Reach Out I'll Be There by Human Nature. Oh boy. There must be something in the water at CBBC HQ. Its presenters are always 'switched on' (by which I mean hyperactive). Leaping about, whooping & hollering, talking to camera like he's announcing the next episode of Hey Bing, or whatever it is kids watch these days. It's grating to a fifty-something curmudgeonly old bat like me. He makes me want to put him in a time out. Like Karim, Rhys is undoubtedly talented, but he has no control. Every move was massively exaggerated and OTT. Talk about playing to the back? The folk on Alpha Centauri were asking him to tone it down a notch. Or 200.
That being said, the choreography was good and styles to his hip hop strengths (I wonder what they'll do for Couple's Choice 😏). He had good, straight legs, heel action and rhythm but he lacked rotation in his hips and he was flinging his arms around like he was being attacked by wasps. He was a bit stiff overall and received comments about fluidity, light and shade. He still got a standing ovation from Motsi & Shirley - mind you they'd give the tea lady a standing O these days. A solid 30 out of 40 scored.
Nina & Neil were up next with a Tango to Would I Lie To You? by Eurythmics. Neil's new shorter hair makes him look a bit like a shaved squirrel - especially when he plays it up to the cameras. Apparently he's claiming he is now the 'statesman of Strictly' now Anton is judging. Hopefully he means in terms of age because Aljaz has years on him, lead pro wise.
Let's just say this wasn't Nina's dance. Neil seemed to be hamming up the 'lipstick on your collar' story to detract from Nina's struggling. She had a decent tango face, but she stomped around more like a miffed mum finding 26 plates under her teen's bed than a woman scorned. The constant hands on hips didn't help. I don't think Nina enjoyed herself either. She seemed...off, somehow. She did have attack & intent, but she lost the plot a bit. She made a couple of errors which tensed her up, there were a few wobbles and she lost balance. Neil has stuck some ganchos in (the flicky leg thing), which don't belong in a classic tango which poor Nina failed to nail. There was no V shaping and her shoulders kept rising. Constructive criticism from the judges - especially Anton - but she scored just 18 out of 40.
Adam & Katya followed with a Quickstep to Are You Going To Be My Girl? by Jet. Time to see Adam's ballroom. Oh, give over. Adam performed the role he was given of a geeky guy pretty well in a routine set on a train. Which was totally unbelievable because they had seats. Never happens when I'm on the tube. Unfortunately, he struggled with the routine somewhat. While he had good rhythm and musicality - the synchro side by side being particularly good - he was a bit stiff with a weak frame, arms going too far back, losing the shape. There was too much gapping, his timing slipped and he tripped a couple of times in the tricky footwork.
There were good points - he was light and fast on his feet, not easy with his build, and he had bags of energy and enthusiasm. He put loads of effort into the dance and has a good chemistry with Katya. The judges were fair and he was awarded 19 out of 40 - a big drop from last week. I wonder if there's a separate voting line for his bum? 😋
Katie & Gorka rocked up with a Jive to Good 4 U by Olivia Rodrigo. Katie's had a hectic filming schedule on Hollyoaks this week which impacted on her training time, and it showed. Set in a high school, there was a bit too much faffing around in lockers than jive content. Katie struggled with the steps, her weight too far back meaning her kicks & flicks weren't as sharp as they should have been and her retraction was weak. She was heavy footed, stompy and plodding and didn't point her toes, meaning the kick sections looked more like she was dancing to New York, New York at the end of a drunken work's Christmas do. One time I did that my shoe flew off and hit my mate's boss in the face. Ah, good times.
It was a very, very fast dance and Gorka seemed to be doing most of the heavy lifting, so to speak. Lots of flashy moves to detract the eye from Katie who unfortunately lost timing and made a few errors (Gorka - 'It's not wrong, it's just different'), particularly towards the end when her energy flagged. She said she has to get Gorka to write the choreography like a script so she can learn it. Next week's will read Be Better. Anton closed his remarks with 'It's not your best, it's not your worst'. It's Week Two Anton, things could get a lot worse for all we know. Just 21 out of 40 for the pair.
Greg & Karen dedicated their Couple's Choice to If You Could Read My Mind by Ultra Naté, Amber & Jocelyn Enriquez to his sister, who sadly passed away from cancer. The VT was very moving but do we really want / need the sad stories in Strictly, or at least this early? I know I'm hard-hearted here, but I want to watch dancing, not be detracted by stuff like this.
This was a disco version of the Couple's Choice. It started slowly before upping the pace and Greg coped with the changes pretty well, but there was a lot wrong. He was too upright and stiff, his rhythm was off and he needs to learn to loosen up. The lifts were good and he partners Karen well, taking notes and working hard in training. However, this was dad dancing at its worst best - Greg in danger of making Jeremy Vine look like Ashley Banjo in a routine that had more cheese than a French Deli. Over-scored by Shirley & Anton, he earned 23 out of 40.
Up next were John & Johannes dancing a Cha Cha to Starstruck by Years & Years. John was worried about being compared to 'Peachy Peaty' last week but he has buffed up a lot since his Bake Off days. Johannes has really blossomed since his first season, too, now being comfortable being his self. I said it last week, I'll say it again. This is a wonderful partnership. They click so well and bounce off each other. That always helps to help a couple shine on the dancefloor.
John needs to believe in himself. He's technically very good and had an absolute ball with this routine. He was cheeky, fun and flirty and it showed that he was enjoying himself. His hip action was terrific, with great rotation and control. His legs were in proper Cha Cha mode and he was fluid, free and controlled (Rhys, take note). The side by side sections were perfectly in sync and their smiles lit up the room, bringing a proper party atmosphere to the room. Craig gave high praise, calling John powerful & punchy and he scored a terrific 31 out of 40. A message from Olly Alexander from Years & Years fan-boying over the pair made John's night ('he knows who we are!'). By the way, if you've not seen It's A Sin yet - starring Olly - please do. You'll thank me later.
AJ & Kai gave us a Foxtrot to Tears Dry On My Own by Amy Winehouse. While the choreo was a little cheerful for the lyrics, this is another fab pairing. They've both landed on their feet here - Kai having an outstanding first season so far and AJ really throwing all her energy (and, boy, she has loads) into training and the routines. She looked absolutely gorgeous in a short, bobbed wig and her legs go on for miles. She was elegant, poised and controlled, coping well with the changes of direction in a tricky number. There was a lovely fleckerl and heel turn and she glided (glid?) across the floor. Classy, polished, smooth with tons of style and grace.
Her feet were a little turned in, she needs to work on her arm extensions and musicality but this was a cracking second outing from the Blackburn Bombshell. She's popular with the panel, too, scoring 31 out of 40. She was a wee bit over-scored by Motsi in my humble opinion and I'm worried getting 9s in week two leave her no room for improvement, meaning she'll get comments about 'plateauing' and 'not growing'. Let's hope not, because I think she's Final material.
Judi & Graziano swung in with a Samba to Get Busy by Sean Paul. The poor singers Jamie & Tommy having to seamlessly switch between songsters Sinatra & Sean, they earn their butty alright. Remember Gangnam Style? I struggle with Happy Birthday!
Now, it's probably just me, but Graz looks like a Harrods version of Gruey (Kieran O'Brien - kids' show from the 80s - Google it):
Or maybe That Waiter on holiday who flirts with all the ladies for more tips?
Robert & Dianne came next with a Tango to La Cumparsita by Machiko Ozawa. This is the classic Tango tune - sung when I was a kid as 'Marks & Spencers is next to Woolworths'. You know the one. Well. What a change from last week! This was Serious Robert - no mugging or cheeky winks to camera. His Tango face was a bit odd - kind of angry like he'd just caught the cat crimping one off in his slippers - but everything else was much improved. There were no mistakes this time and Robert was more stylish and controlled, coping well with difficult steps, changes of direction and pace. Loads of attack and intent, power and poise. He was correctly soft through the knees, giving him drive through the promenades and close turns. The V shape was fairly good and he'd put the hours in.
He still needs some work on his frame and get his elbows in check but overall this was a much improved performance from last week, showing Robert has the gumption to grapple with different dance styles. Last week's Butlins Red Coat and the end of season party was forgotten as Robert channelled his inner Gomez Addams (see the tango in the film with Angelica Houston), scoring 27 out of 40.
Another improver was Sara who, with Aljâz finessed a Foxtrot to Dream A Little Dream Of Me by (Mama) Cass Elliot. This is his favourite ballroom dance and he always puts together a good routine. This was no exception. Sara was like a different woman out there - smooth, graceful, flowing, poised and elegant. No stop / start or ponderous plodding this week. Her movements were fluid, free and assured - she was comfortable and confident on the dancefloor bringing beautiful heel turns, changes of pace through the famous quick, quick slow of the foxtrot. HOTH & I tried it once on holiday and it's bloody hard!
Apart from a weird opening in paper boats (pull the sides out and stick your little mast up) it was classy. She still needs a little work on her frame & head placement but she scored a whopping 34 out of 40, garnering 8s from Craig & Motsi and 9s from Shirley and Anton. This is the highest score Aljâz has ever scored for foxtrot and he was moved to tears.
Dan & Nadiya came next premiering the a Paso to Giant by Rag N Boneman & Calvin Harris. You can say what you like about Poached Egg Club founder Dan (yes, it's a thing with very strict entry requirements) but he's not scared to ham it up and give it the Old British Go. Wearing more guy-liner than a Goth at a funeral, he stomped, clomped and flomped his way through the routine shouting 'Hoy' at random intervals like he was trying to catch Sir Chris' attention at a sports club dinner. This was less Russell Crowe at the Amphitheatre and more Russell Harty in Ambleside, more gladioli than gladiator. Although he thankfully turned down the 'muscle suit' the producers wanted him to wear.
It wasn't bad, just not as good as Dan thought he was - dragging Nadiya across the floor to the interview mark and shouting 'Are you not entertained?' No, Dan, we weren't. Not that much anyway. He didn't have enough passion or intent, about as masterful as Penfold on a bad day. There was some attack and focus, just not quite enough for a paso. His shaping was poor, especially his arms in the classic stances and he was hunched. The routine was a bit like a jigsaw where not all of the pieces fitted together properly. Not the worst paso I've seen (toss up between John Sergeant and Hairy Biker Dave Myers) but nowhere near the best (Danny Mac - with a special mention to Seann Walsh for his Matrix matador). I didn't have a clue what Motsi was on about in her critique - I don't think she did either. 26 out of 40 scored.
Ugo & Oti distracted our attention with a Quickstep to Bring Me Sunshine by The Jive Aces - you know, the Morecambe & Wise music. A bit like them, Ugo was dancing all the right moves, just not necessarily in the right order. I'm being unfair - this was a step up from his dance last week. There were some tricky moves - double champ Oti never takes it easy on her partners - and knee walks not usually seen in a quickstep. Ugo played a goofy, likeable character and you can see he wants to work hard for Oti. The side by side sequences were pretty good and Anton thinks Ugo has 'the best left arm in the room'. He kept his framing most of the time and had bags of energy.
The promenade bits were a bit sticky and he tripped over his feet a couple of times, but better than last week and more at ease. Craig, in particular, was impressed with Ugo's enormous growth (I won't tell you again) and he scored 25 out of 40.
Tilly & Nikita closed the night with a Charleston to Yes Sir! That's My Baby by Firehouse Five Plus Two. The Strictly Curse rumours are already flying around after Tilly was seen letting Nikita into her flat 'at night'. Since it starts to go dark about half-six this time of year that might not be the salacious rendezvous a certain gutter rag I wouldn't put at the bottom of a hamster's cage for fear of contaminating the poor thing newspaper is trying to make out it is. But what do I know (or care for that matter)?
With dad Gordon greeting like a good 'un in the background, Tilly hit this routine with gusto, bringing a cheeky, flirty, ditzy character miles away from the elegant young lady we saw last week. This was a dance packed with energy and the go-to Charleston moves - the roly poly, finger waves, hops and head wobbles. I would have liked to have seen the knee switches and birdy flaps, but I can't have everything. Her timing and musicality were much improved and she had all the necessary energy to last to the end of a dance full of difficult steps and changes of weight and pace. She had enough swivel to please Craig, who gave her a huge 8. Look, I know I'm not an expert, but I think she was overmarked. Again, not up there with the Strictly Charleston greats such as Danny Mac Faye Tozer and Stacey Dooley, not terrible like Ann Widdecombe who, if you remember, looked like someone had shot & stuffed Oscar The Grouch. Maybe the judges were scared of Gordon? A total of 34 out of 40 scored.
Some things are best forgotten...
And that was that. All our dancers had danced, the judges had judged, the floor crew had swept up a metric fudge-ton of streamers, glitter & canon-fired confetti. I honestly feel sorry for the poor sods - imagine having to clear all that up in the two minutes the couples are in the Clauditorium? Mrs Hinch eat your heart out - I'd want that lot round to do the 'Quick! The Vicar Is Coming Round For Tea Tidy Up' (disclaimer - I know no members of the clergy, tea-slurpers or otherwise).
With the scores combined AJ was queen of the leader-board with 65, Nina was down in the Danger Zone with 42. I told you things might flip, didn't I?
The fate of the dancers was now in the hands of 'You, The Viewers At Home'. I'd already downloaded the voting app - three votes free and for nuffink and you don't even need to ask Bill Payer's permission, whoever he is. I won't be revealing who my votes went to, although there may be some subtle hints in the comments above 😉.
The show was over, our gins were refreshed & Husband Of The House (HOTH) and I settled down to watch the last episode of the frankly brilliant 'Mare Of Easttown'. If you haven't seen it, it's well worth a watch, with Kate Winslet and Quicksilver from X-Men & WandaVision. The good version of the character played by the sublime and eternally youthful Evan Peters.
But I digress. Faster than Mr Benn could change his clobber, it was Sunday. I don't know why they still pretend it wasn't all filmed on the same day. We all know it is - it's more obvious than Donald Trump's wig. Mind you, with this many dancers the show would end up like the extended version of Lord Of The Rings: Fellowship Of The Ring. The one with 25 minutes of awkward & unnecessary goodbyes. Probably for the best they give us a break.
Talented Tunester Tom Grennan opened the show with his song Something Better while the pro dancers capered around as camp cowboys and sassy showgirls. Some people honestly don't suit ten gallon hats - or even five dollar ones. I know I'm getting old because a) I had no idea what the song was called (thanks, Shazam) and b) I had no clue what he was singing. It seemed nice enough, even if Tom did the 'bend over, arm in the air doing a poo' pose that appears to be popular with the youth of today. Whatever happened to the 'step together, step together' like what Brotherhood Of Man did?
A quick recap of the dances followed, showing the dancers' best bits and flashiest moves.
The results were in, the votes had been counted and verified, the troupers were tense and terrified. Cue the tension racking bumbedy bum music, the camera flitting from face to sweaty face, Gio bopping away like a chipmunk on Sunny D & Haribo. Tess dragging out the first announcement while I'm shouting at the telly for her to hurry up because I need a wee.....
Nina was the first dancer given the thumbs down and would be taking to the floor, maybe for the final time. She was visibly disappointed, hardly able to speak to Tess as she struggled to maintain her composure.
Up to the Clauditorium for the Chatterpillar - named by a nine-year-old viewer last year due to social distancing in place. We learned John keeps a lucky penny in his knickers, Judi is still nervous despite the bravado, AJ is looking forward to next week and Tilly has just started Uni. News At Ten eat your heart out.
Back to business and part two of the elimination. Once more Dilatory Daly dragged out the doomed dancer decision. Honestly, glaciers move quicker than her announcements. Oh, wait - maybe she speaks so slowly we actually DO end up with the dance-off being on Sunday evening? Certainly feels like it.
With Rhys, Greg, Katie, Robert and Katie left on the stairs, they cut back to the Chatterpillar. Cruel, much? Sara learned what next week's dance would be, Ugo was terrified on the stairs and that Oti has been holding back, Rose's brother didn't recognise her glam look and Peachy Peaty wants to tone down his competitive streak so he can enjoy the actual dancing more.
Griff - again, not Rhys Jones - warbled for a bit, bizarrely about 15 feet in the air, wearing a bright yellow frock that reached the floor. Either that or she's really, really tall. She's still not going to be able to go to the loo in a hurry in that get up, anyway. Some of the spare pros wafted about during this, head to toe in black like they'd shipped in The Milk Tray Man & His Missus.
Next, my loo break bit. Judges' Corner. Outfits & make up changed to fool us it was today, yesterday they re-recap what they said 'last night' in some different words. Craig revealed he is a fan of choreographic choice (first time he's said that, he's usually a stickler for by the book routines). We were told about this week's It Take Two - I don't watch it, it's too spoilery for me. There was also a run down of all the social meeja places you can catch up with what's happening in Strictly Land, if you're into that sort of thing.
Finally, after two Ices Ages and the rise and fall of several empires, Katie was announced as the second dancer-offerer of the night. I was a little surprised as soapsters usually do well, garnering show-watcher votes but it was fair enough as she didn't have a great night. I'm sure she's a lovely girl, but her baby-voice-cum-whiny teenager speech is quite annoying.
Yet again to the Clauditorium - Robert brings his lunch in cling film. I wonder if it's like mine at school. Luncheon meat on white bread, packet of (now defunct) XL sausage & tomato crisps, Blue Riband and a carton of near-homeopathic 'orange juice'? Nah, he's probably more hummus and guacamole, isn't he? Greg will be channelling a certain spy next week - no, not Austin Powers, thank the gods. Daniel has been feeding Nadiya curry and Rhys is proud that his professional partner did so well, accompanying him to next week. How noble of him.
And so to the dance off.
Second time out - Nina's posture improved slightly but she looked like she'd lost the will to dance and was being dragged around by Neil in places. Katie picked up a bit and her kicks were a little sharper and she seemed to have more energy. Both had ironed out the errors. So, who was going home?
The couples could do no more. The judges deliberated, cogitated and digested as one by one they said who they wanted gone and the faller at the first hurdle was....
NINA
A split decision by the judges, though, with Craig & Motsi choosing Katie over her, backed up by Shirley as the head judge, purely for the more technical content of Katie's dance.
It's a shame - I was looking forward to seeing more of her, especially in classic ballroom dances. Her detractors will be rubbing their hands with glee. However, at least the first dance off of the series wasn't a controversial one and both Katie & Nina did deserve to be in the bottom two. On the plus side, we'll be spared the gurning gerbil that is Neil and his insistence that Nina wore dance shoes through hours and hours of rehearsals, giving her blisters on her blisters. Maybe that contributed to her footwork? We shall never know.
They did their final dance to Don't Leave Me This Way - but the other couples can't join this time so it looked like a really awkward first dance at a wedding, where the bride had just found the groom in the airing cupboard with her mum best mate. Ah, well. Bye, bye Nina.
Fourteen couples (if Tom & Amy get the all clear) will return for Movie Week next week and I get to do this all over again, only with lots & lots of very bad puns. Ain't you the lucky ones! Right, I'm off to scoff Spanish chicken and a panna cotta made from scratch by our talented son. No more gin though. Probably. Until then, dahlings......
KEEP DANCING!!
PS - pud:
Iklboo, this is very entertaining - especially the Chris Hoy joke. :-)
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